Bella Goose Staff Retreat 2026

Brother and Sister

Raina got her first job since graduating college, we are so proud of her!

Greetings from Thailand!  

This blog is available in audio too: https://soundcloud.com/user-25221037/blog-may-2026-a-fruitful

It has been a fun few months at Faithful Heart Foundation and Kingdom of God church.  

One of the things I have been praying for more this year, was to see fruit from our work.  

What I mean is I wanted to see people growing and healing, physically and spiritually.  
Again and again with out work with single parent families, we see the need not only for physical help, or money, or jobs, but a while new mindset.  

Literally a new heart and a new mind---a new way of thinking and choosing and living.  

I preached last week on 1 Peter 1.  Peter says God has given us a new birth, to a living hope, and an inheritance through the resurrection of Jesus Christ.  

The more  I thought about it, the more I began to see how God was doing that among us here in Thailand.

This year we have seen one of our boys follow the Lord in baptism. 
A month later, his younger brother would pray to receive Christ.

This past month, a young woman from England prayed to receive Christ after our friend saw her at church and took time to ask her if she had experienced God and His saving power in her own life.  

She came up to thank me for preaching this Sunday, and is so excited about her new found faith.  

I have prayed for our boys at Faithful Heart for years, so it is a special joy to see God answer those prayers, and those young men find new life in Christ.  

And it is a joy to see people from all over the world encountering God here. 

Joshua doing social work

Foster families are amazing!

A new birth, to a living hope, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and an inheritance that can never perish, spoil, or fade

What we have seen recently is the power of cooperation in the gospel.  

Faithful Heart has cared for these boys for years, providing a loving home, food, an education, and loving Christian parents. 

This summer the boys were accepted into an internship with Bella Goose Coffee shop, a business operating as a ministry here in Chiang Mai.  They taught the boys proper work etiquette, baking and barista skills, and mentored them.

Our church brought them into a young adult small group, where they continued to hear the gospel and study the Bible with other young Thai Christians.  

All those pieces were important. 

I try not to worry too much about measuring the success of our work in terms of how people respond.  I know some of us prepare the ground, some of us sow seeds, some of us water those seeds, and some of us harvest what grows from those efforts.  

But I also am delighted when we get to see God at work in the lives of the people around us.  

One of my favorite parts of this recent fruitfulness is that it cannot be traced to a single person, but to the combined efforts of many faithful followers of Jesus, loving their neighbors, sharing the good news, preaching, teaching, studying the Word together; eating, training, and encouraging younger people coming in.  

It is fun to be along for the ride. 

Thai New Year Celebration at Grace International School

Proud of this young man working his first full time job with Bella Goose

Learning together

Building a culture of service

I was having lunch with a mentor friend of mine this week.  
He has been doing overseas ministry for over 40 years.  

He talked about how when he was younger, it was important for him to feel like he himself was effective.  He laughed, and said now he still wanted to see God work, but he cared far less through whom He worked.  

I agreed.  I still would like to be there, to be along for the ride, but it matters less who God uses, so long as God does His work.  

I was talking with my Dad recently, and he mentioned how refreshing it was to meet someone genuinely seeking to know and understand what is true and real.  

Thailand is wonderful that way in my experience.  

People here are genuinely curious, interested, and open to hearing the good news about new life in Jesus.  

I remember going to the hospital for a minor, outpatient surgery last year. 
Two nurses, ladies in their 50's were prepping me for the procedure, and they were excited when they found out I could speak Thai. They asked me all about my family, and my work here in Chiang Mai.  

I told them that I worked for a foundation that helped single parent families, and vulnerable children.  

One of the ladies, interjected: "Are you a Christian?"

Yes, I am a follower of Jesus
(Pra Ye-suu in Thai, the prefix for an honored or revered teacher in Buddhism and Jesus' name).  

She said, "Christians are always helping people. 
That is the right way to live, but why do you do that?"

I started to explain to her how Jesus gives us new life, and a new heart to love others. 
Both ladies were rapt with attention. 
I almost forgot I was about to have surgery.  

Then the surgeon came in and asked if I was ready to start.  

The family of God being the family of God

It is good for us to use some discernment when we speak with others.  
But I want to encourage you to not be too shy.  

There are hungry people out there, looking for purpose, meaning, love, forgiveness, and a new start---
a new life.  

Our theme at church this year is Sharing the Good News with those around us. 
I gave an example a few weeks ago of the man who Jesus healed of his blindness.  

People questioned him about who Jesus was.  The man was hardly sure himself, and he admitted openly: "...I don't know, but one thing I do know.  I once was blind and now I see."

We do not have to be experts to be witnesses.  
We don't have to have all the answers to all the arguments.  

Our best witness is the simple testimony of what God has done for us.  

But we must remember, they will not just listen, but look. 
They will look to see if our life reflects our words.  

Maybe the best way to bear fruit, is to build character:  

To confess our mistakes, and turn from them;
to be humble, grateful, and flexible;
to forgive quickly and completely;
to be patient and gentle with those who are still learning;
to be truthful and honest, 
and to allow God's joy to be our strength.  

May we abide in Jesus and He in us, that we may bear much fruit and so prove to be His disciples. 

In hope, 

Matt, Audrey, Ezra, & Sienna

Two middle school graduates headed to high school

A fun loft bed project for friends

Rummikube

Thai friends have taught me a lot about generosity

Generous neighbors sharing Kao Lam, coconut milk sticky rice cooked in bamboo over a fire

Tiida and her son David

"Generous people generate things.

And, consequently, their worlds are more varied, surprising, colorful, fruitful. They're richer.

More abounds with them, and yet they have a greater thirst and deeper capacity to take it all in.

The world delights the generous but seldom overwhelms them."

-Author unknown

Greetings from Thailand!  

One of the weird things about being a missionary, or anyone who aims to help others improve their lives is that we are constantly in the position, or at least the posture of a beggar.  

We are always asking for help, in order to help.  

I do not naturally like this feeling. 
I prefer to feel independent, self-sufficient, and to not have to assume a humble posture of need.  

One danger I have observed for those who have to stay in this place of dependence on others is that gratitude can slowly morph into entitlement.  

More to the point, we can come to erroneous belief that we are merely recipients of generosity, rather than agents of generosity.  

I heard a great sermon on this by a Thai pastor last week.  

He reminded us that the people Paul holds up as an example of generosity in the Bible were quite poor. 
What I also noticed was that need was only part of the reason for giving. 

Generosity itself, for the giver, was a source of great joy and interest.  

A generous supply of flowers

Peter & Dada before moving to Austrailia

Celebrating God's generosity

My friend Matt shared the quote at the top of this page with me after a similar conversation over dinner.  

My heart was shouting: "Yes! Yes, that is exactly right!"

When I encounter bored or unhappy people, almost inevitably they live in a small, self-centered world.  

They are not overwhelmed so much as suffocating. 
Their world is not too big or even too bad, but too small.  

A generous spirit opens up endless possibilities for enjoyment.  

One of the most sensible guides I have ever heard for finding happiness in life,
is to try to learn how to enjoy the largest possible variety of things. 

If I enjoy the sun, I can enjoy sunny days. 
If I enjoy the snow I can enjoy snowy days.
If I learn to appreciate and enjoy all the various kinds of weather,
I am more like to be happy more often.  

Now apply that principle to all of life.  

Generosity generates things, it is creative and productive.  

It is a mistake to define wealth merely in terms of numbers in bank accounts.  

A healthy person is rich compared to a sick person.
A man with a loving family is rich compared to a man with an unhappy family.
A man who has freedom with his time and schedule is rich,
compared to a workaholic with a higher salary.

We need to reconsider what we mean by these words generosity and wealth.  

Case meetings every month

We deliver a lot of rice thanks to your generosity

Always time for a day on the river

Have you ever watched the home tours of the rich and famous on tv? 
It can be fun, but when you think about it, one thing they all seem to lack is creativity.  

They hire the same interior decorators
(because they can't think of what they themselves like).

They buy the same exotic cars and clothes. 
(but rarely drive them or wear them) 

Riches without generosity grow stagnant and boring. 
You can only buy so many purses, so many cars, so many things.  
But generosity with resources only grows more varied and lively.  

Life is more surprising, colorful, and fruitful.

Generosity brings us into new experiences, and new relationships and new interests. 

It is the result of something important we have learned about the world
and the God who made the world:
There is abundance! 

Reading everywhere we go

Swimming with friends

100 Days of School

We are prone to think of everything in terms of scarcity (not enough).
What another gains, is our loss.   

Not enough money,
not enough time,
not enough for retirement, etc.  

We do this in economics and politics too,
assuming that one person's gain must come at the expense of another.  

But it is often not the case.  
One of the mysteries and miracles of the free market is that a rising tide often does lift all ships.  

Imagine if we start from an assumption of abundance, rather than scarcity, think how it might change our lives.  

What if we could share freely, give gladly, without any fear of there not being enough? 

Yet, this is exactly what God has invited us to do!  

Truly generous people often have found that the more they gave away, the more that came to them.  
Not only in financial terms, but relationships, hobbies, and interests of all kinds.  

Proverbs says this:

"One person gives freely, yet gains even more;
    another withholds what he should give, but comes to poverty."

The first person has a perspective of abundance.
"The more I give away, the richer my life becomes!" 

The second person has a perspective of scarcity:
"I'd better be careful, play it safe and see to my needs."

But there is no scarcity in God's economy. 

Jesus said as much in Luke 6:

"Give, and it will be given to you.
A good measure, pressed down,
shaken together and running over,
will be poured into your lap. 
For with the measure you use,
it will be measured to you.”

This principle runs through the Bible, give away and you will gain.

You become truly rich in the same way you become truly happy, 
not by hoarding, but by sharing.  

Richer not just with money, but with all of the wonderful variety of life.  

Chai, one of our boys from Faithful chose to get baptized

The generosity of nature

More abounds with the generous, and all the time, our capacity to enjoy more and more of life is growing along with our generosity.  

In other words, generosity helps us learn to enjoy more and more of life, and the world becomes more and more delightful and interesting to us.  

Let me give an example from my own life.  

When we moved to Thailand in 2015, we were thinking about what God had made me for,
and what He was calling me to do. 

But I was also thinking about kids---helping vulnerable and orphaned children to have the same opportunities and blessings I had.    

Audrey and I put our time and energy, and money into that task.  

My assumption was that the children would benefit,
but that I would lose.

I was the Giver I thought, and they were the Receivers.

But what caught me off guard was how much I benefited too.  

First, in the fascinating variety of Thailand and Thai culture that enriched my own culture and life.  

Second, in the wonderful new friendships I was forming with Thai people. 

Third, in the endless variety of joys and challenges that I entered into when I began to love and take an interest in these kids. 

Life was more interesting with all of their joys and trials.  

Tired I have been, weary I have been, but never bored.  

Lastly, in our own finances.  

After a few years, Audrey and I set a goal to try to increase our giving every year. 
It was a little scary sometimes. 
Sometimes it meant not doing things we might otherwise have done or wanted to do.  

But we had the advantage of seeing the faces of the people we were helping up close. 

It is true that we often become more interested in what we are financially invested in  
("where your treasure is, there your heart will be also").

I started to notice that we seemed to have more money than we did before. 
We kept increasing our giving each year, and somehow, we kept having more of it.  

We made some investments here on behalf of Faithful Heart and our Thai church,
which later opened up new opportunities to invest.  

Here is the point: life has never been so interesting or so fulfilling. 

And it was giving away what we had, that often led us to receive those greater interests and joys. 

College Dorm Dinner

Celebrating Pim's graduation

Celebrating Ruth's Graduation

Don't misunderstand me, there have been and continue to be hard, discouraging things in our lives. 

But we are trying to live a Kingdom life---a life filled with God's own life---and that means a life invested in others.  

Because God is the First and Largest Giver (and the most frequent).
He has given us all things, even and most astonishing of all,
He has given us Himself.  

This is the story of Easter.    

He is extravagant in His giving, overflowing from the abundance that is His nature, His love.  

To have God's generosity in us, is to have His joy in us,
and to have His joy in us, is the cure for all that ails us.  

If you are board, or unhappy, can I suggest an unconventional cure?

Give more. 
Give your money.
Give your time.
Give your talent.

Open your hearts and your hands to others, and see what God does in your life along the way.  

Generous gifts :-)

Good builders

Need some help getting started?

Shameless plug:

Faithful Heart Foundation is a great group of people helping a lot of children in need.

See how you can share in the joy of this work:

www.faithfulheartfoundation.org

Do you love adoption?  

You can partner with Connie's Home to help young children get adopted into families.

https://fcfthailand.org/portfolio/connies-home/

Do you care about justice, and want to help people been deprived of legal ID and are vulnerable to exploitation?  

You can partner with Jojo's Sanctuary that helps fight for those who are stateless.  

https://jojosthailand.org/

Give to your church.
Give to those going through a hard time.

Give fun gifts.
Give good memories.  
Give delicious food.
Give quality time. 

Be generous, like God is.  

Take a look at what you have, and ask yourself seriously: 

What could be more rewarding, more interesting, more fun than partnering with God to redeem the world?

One of our boys returned to his family this month It was a hard day for all of us

Faithful Heart was able to sell a piece of land to a Thai Church

Celebrating Rhoda's graduation

Lao graduated middle school and heads to vocational school to be an electrician

What is holding us back?

Fear of the future? 
A feeling of scarcity---not having enough? 

Remember the Macedonians:

"In the midst of a very severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity.  

For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability. 

Entirely on their own,  they urgently pleaded with us for the privilege of sharing in this service to the Lord’s people." 

-2 Cor. 8:2-4

Because giving is a privilege.
It is also a source of joy and a cure for boredom
and the unhappiness of living merely for ourselves.  

We have a generous amount of sunshine in Thailand, now we can put it to work!

All these graduations!

Lots of good food too!

"Remember this: 

Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously... for God loves a cheerful giver.  

And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.  

As it is written:

“They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor, their righteousness endures forever...”

You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion,
and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God."

Book Character parade

Night lights

Sharing Good News

15 years ago, my younger brother Jonathan died of cancer.  

This week, Audrey sent me a post she had written to commemorate Jon's death.  
It was beautiful, hopeful, powerful, and painful (the full text is at the end of this blog).
Painful because he isn't here with us.  

My Mom first mentioned that the wound doesn't heal. 
Our hearts move on, but they limp from that time forward.  

I don't think about my brother all the time, and that may be a coping mechanism
(I don't know).  

But when I do, there is usually first a smile, then a pain.  
The smile, because of so many good memories
(often humorous memories where Jon was involved).
The pain, because I remember how much pain he suffered,
which became pain in me who loved him and had to watch helplessly.  

I find it to be common among human beings that we can only feel so much.  
Maybe men are weaker in this than women. 
I for one am ready to concede freely.  

I take my memories of Jon in small doses, so I don't get overwhelmed. 
So I can continue to function.  

But every time I listen to Mumford and Sons album Sigh No More,
I have to stop after a song or too.  
This was our anthem while Jon was recovering from chemo.

Maybe this is what PTSD is like
(I don't know).  

First, the memories come back, then the feelings come back, then the pain comes back.  
I feel a bit out of control, which increases the urge to regain control---
even if it means pushing the memories away.  

The old injury aches. 
The limp becomes more pronounced.  

That piece of our heart and life that was lost that day, reminds us again of what was lost---
what is still lost from our life.  

Why him? 
Why not me?
What of him now?
What of me now?

Am I angry? 
Am I hurt? 
Have I forgotten?  

What of God?

What of life?
What of death?
What of life again?

I can almost tell the story as if it belonged to someone else.  

People are always kind; "I am so sorry."
Me too.  

I still feel strange talking about my suffering.  
It was Jon who suffered the most.

As a parent I realize now too, that my parents suffered far more than I did.  

But I can only try to make sense of my suffering, my pain, my loss. 
Maybe this is survivor's guilt
(I don't know).  

I have become greedy in my grief.  
I am impatient with paltry comfort.
It's not enough.

I crave satisfaction; satisfaction for my grief and loss, and satisfaction for my sense of justice.  

There is something so deep in us, it only comes to the surface when we are faced with an ugly death. 
It is the desperate longing for things to be right---not like they are, not like this, not like cancer.

The angriest and most desperate prayers of my life were during Jon's cancer.  

I can understand people who love God, and I can understand people who hate God. 
I can understand people who desperately want to believe and feel they can't.
I can understand people who desperately do not want to believe. 

But I cannot anyone who is merely indifferent.
Not anymore.

Indifferent? 

To cancer?
To the shattered body of someone you love?
To evil?
To the suffering of children?

We can disagree about the answers to the largest questions of existence.  
But I don't even know what so say to someone who fails to recognize their importance.  

My brother Jon's cancer slapped me in the face. 
It screamed in my ears.  

I tried to look away, or hide but cancer gives no quarter.  

Do I believe in the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come? 
(the Nicene creed---a foundational document of Christianity).

I thought I did. 
But that won't suffice anymore.
Not here. 
Not with him.  

I think Jon would have liked that his death, like his life
confronted us in our indifference, complacency, and fear.  

How has Jon's life and death changed me?  

He reminds me to be present where I am. 
To see the people in front of me, to relish the day I am in the midst of. 
Because he is an ever-present reminder that today may be my last.  

He compels me to think about life beyond death. 
This one is far too short, violent, painful, and broken.   

He shakes me out of my apathy and indifference. 
Life is too precious and wonderful and astonishing to be treated with lazy carelessness.  

He pushes me towards God and deeper into life.  

If I am angry about Jon's death, who else can I blame and be angry with?
If I am grateful for Jon's life and the memories we made, who else can I thank?
If I am afraid of my own death, who else can help me live with hope and courage?
If I am desperate to understand what this life is for and how to live it, where else can I go?

Who else has words of eternal life?

C.S. Lewis describes life after death in a pithy phrase:

"Further up, and further in."

We move towards God, and towards a deeper life.  

Jon's life and his death pushed me further up (to pursue, argue and wrestle with God)
and further in (into relationships with others, into a deeper, more meaningful life here and now).  

There is a powerful irony in Jon's death being so close to Easter.  

Other friends, mothers, and brothers watched someone they love suffer terribly and die. 
They too raged, wept, and ached.  

Jesus, that young man they loved died violently. 
But then he came back to life and said he had defeated death.

Not so men would no longer die,
but so that their life would become like His, and transcend death.  

An opiate for the masses?  Maybe. 
If I am honest, there are times I am so desperate I would take anything.  

Pie in the sky?  Maybe.  
Isn't it easier to avoid the real problems of this life if we talk about the afterlife?

But what if this hope in Jesus is not an opiate to avoid life, but fuel for embracing life more fully?
What if hope becomes the fuel that powers life in us, not only here and now but forever?

Then, and then only can we live and love with courage, joy, laughter, purpose, and compassion.
Then, and then only can we grieve and mock death at the same time.  

I think Jon would approve.  

From Audrey:

I was watching his chest to see if I could find a hint of movement, of breath in his lungs. In that moment of absolute stillness, I accepted that his body was dead. But, beyond a shadow of a doubt, I knew that his soul had not died. I thought, in that instant, that there is no possible way his soul could just cease to exist. His soul was not in that body anymore, but it had truly moved on to another place. 

Today is the 15th anniversary of Jon's death. I can't help but think about the last time we saw his body on the morning he died, ravaged by cancer, so quiet and still. 

On that day and on these days leading up to Easter, it is fitting to consider suffering and death. 

Not that we should wallow and sit too long in the despair that suffering and death can bring, but that it should bear us into a deep and wild hope. 

I'm hungry for hope, aren't you? Thank God that He gave it to us.

Just as Jesus died, so we shall die. But in Him, just as he rose again from the dead, so shall we. Through the death of Christ on the cross, He conquered death! We can live through Him and by Him forever. It's in this hope that we live. 

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 (NIV)

I pulled together some pictures of Jon and some book excerpts that stir up hope in my heart. 

As a friend shared many years ago, Jon burned his candle at both ends. He was full of life and adventure. As we believe that this world is a mere shadow of the world to come, the Kingdom of God, I have hope that Jon's adventures have continued; that he's becoming more fully himself than he was or could ever be here. That he is finding his complete wholeness and satisfaction and fulfillment and place with God. 

As C.S. Lewis says in The Last Battle, "but for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before."

So we wait in hope to this end - and in this in-between time. And with courage and bravery we use our lives to usher in God’s kingdom now on earth, as it is in heaven.

“Wait with hope. Hope now; hope always!”

Psalm 131:3 (The Message)

आशा – Hold on to hope, dear friends.