There is more to life than a loosely connected string of events. The title for this blog post comes from a book Albert Schweitzer wrote about his own life many years ago. He has been a powerful inspiration in my own life. I love getting a glimpse into the head of the people I admire. Not just what they did, or what happened, but how they thought about all those things. What motivated them? How did they cope with failure? Success?
Have you noticed how much easier it is to admire dead people, than people who are alive? Once someone is dead we are a little more free to imagine them as we would like them to be, good or bad. The inconvenient thing about people who are alive is that we are constantly experiencing the frustration of a living, breathing, loving, failing person. In Thailand, we experience so many different feelings some days it is as though we suffered from a sort of emotional overload. You just feel a lot. For example: Sunday morning I was reading my Bible and asking God to straightened out my heart, help me relax and receive the day with joyful gratitude. Audrey and I snapped at each other discussing how we would get to church (via scooter or via car---because that’s a BIG deal??) I walked outside and realized it was raining (which meant no scooter—Audrey’s preference). Now in that small dilemma, I felt and thought several things:
“Why are women so difficult? Why can’t they be like men?”
“Why am I arguing about something I don’t even really care about?”
“I am an idiot.”
“God loves this idiot anyway.”
“I love my wife. She loves this idiot too.”
“I can apologize and laugh at myself. I am loved and that’s better than being right anyway.”
“I’m so glad to know God and I’m thankful for His help to just get through some days.”
That was just my morning before church.
That same morning, we met a team from Hong Kong who had come for a short mission trip and they came along with us to church. As I sat down and listen to the visitors introducing themselves I was struck:
“Hi, we are from Hong Kong…we are happy to be with you this morning…”
“We live in Tajikistan…here for vacation…”
“My wife and I work in Kazakhstan…”
“We’re from the Philippines..”
“We’re from Germany…”
This diverse, multi-national group of people---(I love these people) is our family. People often ask us if we miss our families back home, and yes, we miss our families a lot! But we haven’t lost our families, we’ve gained more and more family. That is the ebb and flow that is our daily life. An ache in our hearts for the people we love and miss, then joy as we find more than friendship with strangers simply because Jesus has given us both new life and a new purpose for our lives.
I woke up this morning and had some time when I tried to let God sort me out. I had a quick breakfast and I began my Thai homework before our lessons at 10am. Few things are more effective at demolishing my sense of intelligence and capability than learning Thai. Perhaps I will be slower in the future to assume that smug arrogance towards another person who struggles to learn something new. Ebb and flow.
Am I always ecstatic and abounding with joy in Thailand?
No.
Am I always discouraged and frustrated in Thailand?
No.
Am I frequently moving from joy to frustration to joy and back again?
Yes.
And I think that may just be the surest road to real, lasting joy. I used to think that things had to go the way I wanted if I was to be happy (maybe a type-A personality?). Thailand is teaching me the art of “Mai Bpen Rai” (something between “it doesn’t matter,” “I don’t mind,” “no big deal,” and, “we’ll take it as it comes”). So if you ask me now how I am, I might say something like this:
I am grateful, hopeful, excited, and humbled.
Or as the apostle Paul said:
“…as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way…as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing everything.” (1 Corinthians 6:4,10)
In our joys and sorrows, in our triumphs and failures; thank you for your love and support!
With hope unrelenting in Jesus,
Matt & Audrey
