It is very easy (and very common) to see what we would like to “fix” or change in others. It is much harder to see what ought to change in ourselves. It is harder still to do the actual hard work of changing. When it comes to entering a new culture, I have been on both sides of the fence. I remember thinking that my own country was obviously the best. We are highly developed, prosperous, and hold to high ethical standards. I experienced the very common sense of nationalism---being proud of one’s home country, people, and culture. But I have also had the opposite feeling. There are times we are frustrated to learn that our home country is not the ‘saint’ we thought it was; it does not always work for justice so much as for financial advantage. We can be selfish, indifferent, arrogant, and oblivious of our impact. As a woman from East Africa once commented; “working with Americans is like a mouse dancing with an elephant; sometimes you get squished.” America is not the devil, nor are we angels. We are a nation of people, of individuals, and as the individual, so the sum of them.
I believe the first and most important priority for anyone who desires to address the evils in the world, is to address the evils in yourself. Easy for me to say, so hard for me to do! Isn’t it odd how easy it is to feel patriotic and believe in our own inherent goodness? And isn’t it odd how easy it is to sit on the sideline and criticize the state of your nation while taking no responsibility for it yourself? There is a story in the Bible where God comes to a man who has just murdered his own brother and says to him:
“Where is your brother?”
The man replies: “Am I my brother’s keeper?” (in other words, I am not responsible for him.)
He thinks the answer is “no,” but he is terribly wrong. Not only because he murdered his own brother, but because he assumed he wasn’t responsible for his fellow man. It is good and right that we should desire to change people. We just need to have the desire for ourselves as well as our neighbor. Otherwise, we will only bring people up (or down!) to our own level. But if we can swallow the big pill of pride and approach different people and different cultures, not as something to be “fixed” so they become like “us,” nor as an angel or a demon, but simply as an opportunity for us to grow and become better, as well as an opportunity to help another, then we may just accomplish some real good in our world. This is what I think it means to take responsibility for our fellow man.
Most of us are probably used to a vertical relationship in our charity, where we, as the great benefactor and helper, reach down to those “below” us to help them (money often gives that illusion). And there is truth in that idea, but also pride. The truth we need to keep, for everyone one of us has something to offer to each other in the way of help (and we need to believe that or we won’t even bother to try to help anyone). But we need to get rid of the pride so we can strive and grow together towards something better than either of us: to love, to justice, to peace, and goodness---in a word: to God.
What sparked my thinking about all this was two cultural exchanges that happened just the other day here in Thailand.
First, Audrey and I were buying lunch at a local food court. Our Thai is getting better, but it is still clunky. A Thai woman who was also ordering, offered to help order my food for me. She wouldn’t really take no for an answer and before I knew it I was thanking her and taking my food. I turned to thank the man behind the counter who had prepared the food and served me. The woman caught me as I turned and said:
“You don’t need to thank these people, they are from Burma”
Without thinking I responded: “But they are still people.”
She was not a bad person. She offered to help me, after all. I really do love the Thai people. They have their faults just as I do, though they may be different from mine, but they are in my experience so far, a kind, diligent, and helpful people. Here was an opportunity for me to help, to question a cultural prejudice and point to something better. To help people see all people as what they truly are: brothers and sisters---part of one human family—God’s family, is part of the change we seek.
The second experience was with our small group with the college students here. One of the girls was excited and nervous. This was the first time she had shared her life story and the story of how she came to know God with a group. She has know hardship and loss that I can only imagine. She lost both of her parents when she was very young and has lived where there was room, with very little to call her own, virtually her whole life. It is a miracle that she found her way to a small dorm in a rural city about two hours from Chiang Mai where she was able to attend school. It is another miracle that that dorm is connected to Faithful Heart (the one we recently repainted and provided new bedding for) which allowed her an opportunity to now attend college. Here was an opportunity for me, not to help change others, but to be changed myself. This young woman’s faith had something to teach me. I think in America we have a lot of people with very informed faith (lots of information and details) but not very strong faith (trust unaffected by change). And I am no different. It is easier to trust God because He has provided, than to trust that He will provide. I am humbled to see someone with so little, trusting so much.
What is the change we seek? As another man once said: “To become the change we wish to see in the world.” A far more costly and far more effective way of teaching is to demonstrate, rather than to merely articulate. We are teachers and students, helpers and those in need of help.
If you are missing Audrey’s thoughts here, she has been working on the online presence of Faithful Heart Foundation (check it out here: http://faithfulheartministry.com/ and on Facebook and Instagram), so her creative juices are needed elsewhere for the time being. She is also starting a project to bring Thai purses and bags to shops in Fort Collins, Colorado to help support our orphan work here (pretty cool!---Coming soon to Walnut Creek and Vines Vintage in FC)!
Thank you for remembering us. It means so much to get a message on Facebook or an email or a Skype message (Skyler, Chris!). You know you’ll always have a place to stay in Asia. If you’re coming our way, our door is always open!
Thank you for praying for us and with us!
In hope,
Matt & Audrey Pound
