Ezra and his buddy driving the Tuk Tuk

Gawley and Pontip's Wedding! (that is one handsome couple!)

Big sisters!

Greetings from Thailand!

We have been jealous of all the pictures of beautiful fall colors, yes, even snow.  In Thailand, we are entering cold season too.

But cold season in Thailand means temps less than 85 degrees.  It is funny to realize that coats, gloves, and hats which are essential equipment in Colorado or Ohio, are not even part of our wardrobe here.

Holidays can be hard too.

We had a nice Thanksgiving here with friends, but we certainly missed family and friends in America.

Christmas too just isn't the same in a culture that doesn't celebrate it.

But it is a lot of fun to introduce some of our Thai friends to our traditions and learn to enjoy theirs.

Loi Gratong was in November, and you may have seen pictures of all the beautiful lanterns being released into the sky at night.  It is an amazing sight.

A great World Without Orphans Conference

Lots of great new friends! That finger sign is supposed to represent a heart. :)

Some quiet, cool mornings

One of the greatest and most difficult things about living in another culture is the constant process of adaptation that occurs and the uncertainty that comes with it.

It sort of sounds romantic at first---whatever change is, it is not boring.

And it really does make us better people (We know that).

But the process is not always pleasant.

We tend to admire certainty, rather than humility; people who seem to really know what they are doing and why, and have impressive resumes of accomplishments. 

But I am coming to think the opposite.

The people I really admire are often uncertain, and brave enough to admit it.
I am starting to realize in my own life that certainty is often a mask I wear to hide my fear. 

Even when I think I know best, I am not always eager to try my own solution.
Because if it doesn't work, then I not only have failure, but shame too.

This fear can often hinder us from working with others.  Not necessarily because we think we know it all, but because we are more afraid to fail with others watching.

We are so proud of our grads!

Bon fire together!

We love to laugh

In our work here, my head often feels full of thoughts.  And there is no lack of ideas for how to do what we do (caring for orphan children).  So advice is often plentiful too. 

I have lots of thoughts, but often feel so helpless and unsure to do all my heart longs to do.

But this may be the best way.

In the past, I have always sought to move towards certainty (this was especially harmful in my faith).

It seems a very human desire.  But most of the things I have done that I regret in life, came from too much certainty ("I know I am right").
 
We hurt others more when we are sure we are right.

But maybe we should be moving away from certainty towards uncertainty.

Maybe growth is not needing to be certain anymore, because now we have trust.
A marriage works like this and so does faith.

It would be a sad marriage where a man continually read his marriage certificate to assure himself his wife loved him.

"She promised, it says so right here. So I know for sure she loves me."

Yet, when it comes to our faith many of us do this very thing.

We cling to the certificate, because we lack the relationship.

We cling to certainty, because we lack the trust for uncertainty.  

We attended the funeral of our friend Yay's father in a Lahu village.

It was beautiful.

We rode in a Song Tao too.

Perhaps the agony of uncertainty is a good place from which to act.  We are unlikely to be harsh or inconsiderate to others, because lingering in our own minds is the reminder that we might do this wrong.  And if we do, we will want people to be gentle and gracious with us.

Maybe the agony of uncertainty is a good place to live.  

The need for certainty comes from fear, and the antidote to fear is courage to trust.

It takes courage to live in uncertainty.

Faith is not being sure of something, but of someone.  Not what will happen, but who will be there with you when it happens.

And even in our work and relationships, we need this healthy uncertainty.

Pretending confidence and closing our eyes to the negative consequences of our actions may allow us to continue to look impressive or feel good about ourselves, but it will not work much good in our world.

We offer our best offering humbly, not perfect offerings confidently.

Because a humble person can learn.  And a learner can grow.

If we do not think we need to learn, than we won't learn and if we won't learn, we won't grow.

Uncertainty says, "There is something I lack, something I don't have or have enough of yet.

And it goes looking for what it lacks.

Certainty says, "I have enough.  I am enough."

Kingdom of God retreat!

Really nice cabins!

And nice swings!

May we embrace the uncertainty of life humbly and gladly, for through it we can grow more into the people we were made to be.

May we no longer admire or trust in certainty, but in humble love.


Faithful Heart Update:

We are so thankful to those of you who have sponsored one of our children here!  We still need to find some new sponsors, but we are no longer in an emergency situation and that is a relief.

We have several kids graduating high school in March and we are beginning to meet with them to plan about their future (college, vocational school, etc.)

We really enjoy our monthly BBQ's and it is fun to see everyone getting to know each other better.

This year for Christmas, we are doing 3 events: Outreach (telling people about Jesus), Service (helping poor members of our community), and Celebration (having a party together). Our Thai staff have divided these up and are excited to plan some new things. So far it looks like we will be going to the local prison and camping in the mountains.  It should be a lot of fun.

We are trying to build some partnerships with other organizations here who do work similar to ours to see how we can better help each other.


 Family Update:

Can you believe Ezra is 3 and Sienna is 1?

We are often tired parents, but the joy they bring us everyday is inexpressible.  I usually come home singing silly songs about them while riding my motorbike, just out of excitement to see them again.

Audrey has joined a new ladies group each week and really enjoys getting to know them better and do life together.

Thank you for your love and support.  Have a wonderful holiday season!

Love,

Matt, Audrey, Ezra (aka Fuzzy), and Sienna (aka Squishy) Pound

Always on the move and almost ONE!

Airplanes from Aunt Pam and Uncle Chuck were a big hit!

Cute guy for delivery!

I try to work out 4 times each week.  It was a New Years Resolution I have stuck with for almost 2 years.

I like to follow a plan.  My plan right now is called: "Breaking New Muscle."

It has made me think about how I grow in other areas of my life too.

A new job often has a steep learning curve and taking over as the director at Faithful Heart has been no different for me.

There have been so many things I have had to learn or relearn.  And there are still many I am learning.

Learning new things is a lot like building new muscle.

Some sweet folks brought us treasures from the US!

Game time!

My Dad always says the view is different from the top.  What he meant was that when the decision wasn't your responsibility, it always seems clearer.  But when you are in the hot seat, it is not always so clear or easy.

It makes me grateful for another wise man in my life, Dave Callahan, who bore that burden for many years before it passed to me.

My workout routine got me thinking about the rest of my life.

I am more convinced than ever that all of our life is a connected whole.

Our physical life, our mental life, our spiritual life---there is only one---the life you have right now.

I don't expect to get stronger without working harder.  I increase the number of reps I do or I increase the weight I lift.

You have to break new muscle.
Why should the other areas of our life be any different?

Eating together

Poom is such a sweet boy.  We are so glad he is part of our Faithful Heart Family!

How will I get better at decision making?
I will have to make more, and more difficult decisions.

How will I get better at leading?
I will have to face more and more difficult challenges.

How will I get better at building up others?
I will have to spend more time investing in those people.

The struggles we face in our life must increase if our strength is to increase.
There is simply no other way to become more resilient, more persistent, and more effective.

So while I groan when the struggles come, a part of me also gets excited.
Here is my chance, here is my opportunity to grow better.

Big brothers

Big Hippos

There is a story in the Bible about a man who was the youngest of several brothers.  He belongs to a prosperous family, but gets kidnapped and sold as a slave. Then he is falsely accused of a crime he didn't commit and thrown in prison.

He stays there for years.

I don't know about you, but if my problems lasted years, I would be really frustrated.

In a sudden reversal, he is released and put in a position of leadership in the government.
But his problems aren't ending, they are only growing bigger. 
The whole country faces a serious famine.

He doesn't panic.  He plans ahead and puts people to work.  Through his vision and foresight, and wisdom, thousands of lives are saved.

The struggles he faced made him strong to face larger struggles later.

Sweet friends came with us to the gardens!

Ice Carving in tropical Thailand?  Yes!

Look at all this stuff that was just sitting in the cupboard!

In our lives nothing is wasted.

I am not wise enough to explain if everything happens for a reason (there is so much that should not happen but for evil people and evil intentions).

But I am confident that everything that has happened to us can be brought to serve some good purpose.

Our struggles in Thailand recently are not anything to compare to what many have endured.

But every struggle, great or small, has that potential to breed new strength in us.

Ladies got free facials!

Just Ezra and Mom having fun

Our family has battled sickness for two weeks and are finally getting better.

At Faithful Heart, we want to thank all of you who have responded and decided to sponsor a child!  We still need some new monthly sponsors.

If you can't help right now, do you know someone who would be interested?  We are making progress, and that is a big encouragement.

I turned 34 on October 3!  It's hard to believe.  Thank you to all of you for the birthday wishes and love.  It makes me so happy to have so many wonderful friends and family in my life.

Sienna will turn 1 on October 27th.  She brings so much joy and laughter to our home.  She is discovering her will and her curiosity at the same time.

Our good friend Gawley is getting marred this month and we are so excited for him.  This has been an answer to many years of prayers.

Please continue to pray for us personally, especially for our health.

And please pray for Faithful Heart to find new sponsors for our kids.

We are attending church camp with our Thai church next month and I have been asked to share about managing your finances.  Please pray for appropriate wisdom to share with our sweet friends.

Lots of love from Thailand,

Matt, Audrey, Ezra, & Sienna

Chicken Coop Crew

Farm crew!

Our land looks so beautiful!  If only we can finish the paperwork...

Sad goodbyes to our landlord of the last 3 year, Khun Yai

Greetings from Thailand!

This has been a hard month. (I'll explain in our next post some of the challenges we are facing.)

Audrey has been listening to Brene Brown, and teaching me about the power of being vulnerable.
(Brene is on youtube and Netflix, it is worth your time!)

And sometimes it starts with simply saying:

"I am not sure I can do this."

This past month has been filled with such moments for us.

"Can we do this?"
"Are we the right people for this job?"
"We just don't know what to do in this situation."

We love Tiida!

Tom Sawyer Island?

This little Squishy is on the move!

Leadership is full of just such thoughts and feelings, especially new leadership.

At Faithful Heart we have been facing a host of problems and questions.
Faced with so many things which I do not know the answers to and I have to make a choice.

Do I stuff it all down and pretend I have it all together?  Do I try to assure others that I have the answers, the wisdom, and the resources to fix all these problems?

Or do I chose vulnerability and admit I am still learning and growing too?

Honesty really is the best policy.
(If only we realized all the ways we are subtly dishonest, we might really get somewhere.)

Phillip is learning the importance of college football.

Staff meeting!

Chilling in Sunday School

For myself, there is a lot of fear when it comes to the question of my worth or capability.
So failing can feel more like an attack on my self worth, than a learning opportunity.

Some of you can maybe relate.

But the way out of that is not pretending to have it all together when we don't, but learning to embrace our worth, while admitting our limitations and fears.  

Because if we never admit we need help, we are unlikely to get it.
The myth of self-sufficiency is strong.

None of us is self-sufficient.

Thai Church

Working at the farm is good for everybody

Ezra is making full use of his new yard!

We were created for relationship.
We were created for each other.

No one is fully independent or fully dependent.
But we are all inter-dependent.

Imagine if we not only admitted this, but embraced it?

I am not enough.
Not strong enough.
Not smart enough.
Not gifted enough.

None of us is.

But maybe together, we are.

Strong enough.
Smart enough.
Gifted enough.

10 years with this sweet lady!

Cooling off after some hard work

Ezra picked out a unicorn for a gift for Sienna

This past few weeks has been hard.  But if it wasn't for a good friend, it would have been much harder.

Joel came from the US to help us deal with some of the issues we have run into at Faithful Heart.

He was a good listener.  Patient, gentle, and wise.

Without his timely help, I am not sure what we would do.
At first, that frightened me.

It was clear, at least to me, and probably to him and to others, that I was not enough for the challenges in front of me.

But God never said I would be enough.  
He said that He would be with us, and we would be enough.

By recognizing my need, I could rejoice in God's supply.  

Tadpoles are awesome

New haricuts and handsome dudes.

Paula is such a sweet helper, we love her!

When we pray for help, our first response should be to look around, not up. 

God's preferred method of helping us is through other people, not supernatural displays.
To a starving man, a sandwich from a kind stranger is just as much a miracle as manna from heaven. 
I am not enough.

And that is ok.

That crushing burden of having to always have it all together, to always be successful can be set down.

And that ego of thinking we are so much better than others can be set down.

We are pieces in God's puzzle.

And as He draws all those pieces together, and fits them in place, we see the amazing design and beauty in the individual pieces, and in the whole, that we missed before.

Laying sod

We find the coolest places to play

You and I are not enough on our own.

We are never called on our own.

We are created and called and invited and challenged and celebrated--together.

May we recognize our needs and rejoice in God's supply--together!

Thank you to all of you who are with us.  We couldn't do it without you.

In hope,

Matt, Audrey, Ezra, and Little Squishy (Sienna)

Boys working hard at Home of Comfort, Rainy Rice season is beautiful