Greetings from Thailand!  

It is hard to believe we have been living in Thailand for 10 years. 

There is so much to think over and remember.
Where do you even start?

Geographically, I can break my life down into 3 general periods:

1985 - 2004  Ohio --- Childhood through high school (18yrs)

2004 - 2014  Colorado --- College, Work, & Marriage (10 years)

2015 - 2025  Thailand --- Faithful Heart, Kids (10 years)

It is strange writing that out.  

We don't experience life like that, and it is interesting to think of how place, where we are geographically and culturally, effects us and shapes us---who we are and how we think.  

Time changes us. 
Place changes us. 
Being part of a minority or a majority changes us. 
Being exposed to new or different ideas changes us.  
Being part of different cultures changes us.  

And change is often uncomfortable, unpleasant, and not always linear (lots of ups and downs, wrong turns, and mistakes).

I often think that one major reason God calls people overseas, is not for the change they can effect for Him, but the change He can effect in them.   

The place God is working to get us to is not the ignorance of childhood, or the crippling anxiety that many face in adulthood; but ever increasing knowledge and wisdom rooted in a corresponding ever increasing peace and trust in Him.  

When I was younger, I was more naively idealistic. 
I made the mistake of thinking the task God was inviting me into lay within my ability to accomplish. 

Ten years in Thailand has given me a much humbler expectation of my abilities.  
But it has also given me a much larger conception of God's abilities.  

Self-confidence as given way to God-confidence.

The ambitions of an adult have given way to enjoyment and trust of a child.  
Free from the need to impress my Father, I am welcomed to join and enjoy Him.  

 

Living in another country compels you to literally become child-like. 
That loss of the sense of control and competence hits hard.  

But eventually, if we allow it, it opens us up to wonderful new things.    

We let go of our preconceived notions, our ambitions and goals and plans, and come with empty hands to God (sometimes kicking and screaming).

That may be His goal all the time. 

Now He can really work in us, and form us, not for the work we want to do, but the work He wants to do through us. 

Now He can shape us---not into who we think we want or ought to be, but who He made us to be.  

It is weird to think I have spent approximately 1/4th of my life in Thailand.  

Thailand has formed and shaped me in so many ways.  
God has shaped me through Thailand just like He shaped me through America.  

I am not sure I am aware of exactly how or when that happened.  

You take stock of where you ware, what you think, and then look back on where you were, and what you thought then, and realize something changed.  

My goals and aspirations have changed, my political views have changed, my spiritual beliefs have changed, my food preferences have changed, my body has changed.  

Ultimately, the essential question is am I growing better, 
more like Jesus?  

Because it's not really about what we do, but what we are.

We have a share in our own making (which is a pretty remarkable thing if you think about it) but we are first and foremost, creatures---created by a Creator.

Life can be overwhelming. 
We are not the authors of this story, only its characters.  

I can't quite grasp it all, take it all in.  Even being in places with tons of people, like Bangkok overwhelms my mind.  

Everyone of these sprawling thousands of people has a life, a story, they love and are loved, they have dreams and aspirations.  

It's sort of like images of galaxies and nebula; its vastness is almost too much to take in.  

We must live in a small world, a small place, or we will be overwhelmed.  

We must accept our smallness, without losing hope.  
We must hope for everything and everyone, but give our energies to a few.  

I came to Thailand wanting to help. 
I wanted to help children have a good childhood, and a good life. 

When I was 18 I traveled alone to Cambodia and saw human misery on a scale I had never seen before. 
It's easy to imagine yourself a superhero rescuing others when you are young.  

Nothing will humble you like trying (and getting old).  

Not only is life complex, life's problems are complex.

Good can be done, but so can harm---even when good is intended.  

The only safeguard is humility---the ability to doubt and question oneself and look to God.  

I came here wanting a good life for myself and my family. 
I think we all desire a good life, it's how we define a good life that is important.  

I wanted to have kids and see them enjoy childhood and learning and growing. 

I came here looking for a meaningful life. 
A life I could enjoy yes, but also one that gave me a sense of purpose.  

I cam here wanting to know and experience God more, and help others know and experience God more.  

  Every year we have worked in Thailand, our ability to help has increased as we became more competent, and at the same time, our expectations of what we could accomplished has decreased.  

I don't mean that to sound discouraging.  
God can do anything, and I expect and ask great things from Him all the time.   

Matt cannot do everything. 
He cannot even do very much.  
But, with God...

I am proud of what we have been able to accomplish at Faithful Heart during our time here. 
We have had a real, measurable, positive impact on many lives. 
We were able to help.  

The longer we are here,  the less I think about what I am accomplishing and the more I am coming to enjoy simply celebrating people building better lives---no matter where the help came from.  

Looking back on these 10 years, the dominant feeling is gratitude.  

In my 20's, I could not have imagined I would get to live the life I live now. 
I probably would have enjoyed my 20's more if you had traveled back in time to tell me how my 30's would go.  

I love my life here.  Audrey loves her life here.  Ezra and Sienna have great lives here.  

That is a lot to be grateful for.  

There is a lot we miss.  But God has given us so much more than we would have ever dared ask or imagine 10 years ago when we moved halfway around the world to a country and culture we barely knew.  

But every morning, as I merge onto the highway on my motorcycle and the wind hits my face, I thank God for the gift of this day.  

Meaning and purpose can be tricky things. 
Sometimes we manipulate ourselves in an effort to create meaning where there is a lack. 

But fundamentally, meaning and purpose are the result of living for something outside of, and bigger than yourself.  

My own search for meaning has led me to conclude that we also need hope. 
My faith in God has deepened in our time here.
Meaning and purpose have to be accompanied by hope, the hope that when all our best efforts reach their limit, God still holds the world in His hands.  

Nonprofits can do good, governments can have good or bad policies, but the only way to change and transform a heart is for God to enter in.  

So I work for the good of my human family, especially the poor and vulnerable. 
But I put my hope in God, not in men or politicians, or even myself.  

10 years in Thailand has taught me to rejoice in all things, give thanks in all things, and to hope in all things.  

Most of my experiences of God here have been quiet and unspectacular. 

Things I believed with my mind, became things I believed from my experience.  

I believed Jesus was the Way, the Truth, and the Life before I came to Thailand.  

But in Thailand, I discovered that if I did the things he said to do, I became better at navigating and enjoying life.  If I took to heart the things he said, I grew more confident about what was really true and what really mattered in life.  I was experiencing life like I never had before, and He was the one leading me into it.  

After 10 years in Thailand working with vulnerable children and families that is what I want most to share with everyone.  

Ask God for life and He will give it to you! 
Overflowing, abundant, hilarious, challenging, meaningful LIFE!  

It will wreck your conceptions and ideas.
It will humble you and sometimes embarrass you.

But once you've tasted it, there is no comparison.  

I don't know what the next 10 years will hold, but as C.S Lewis wrote: 

"Further up!  Further in!"  

The greatest adventure is getting closer to the Maker of this incredible world, and letting Him remake us.  

How do we say thank you to so many of you for 10 years of love, prayers, and support?  
You have journeyed with us in prayer and in love.  
Thank you so much.  

Love, 

Matt, Audrey, Ezra, and Sienna