Bringing aid to some needy families in the mountains.

Greetings from Thailand!

The title for my blog today comes from some modern day poets and prophets, Story of the Year (a punk-rock band I've liked since high school).  During a workout at the gym, I caught some of the lyrics of one of their songs:

"So tell me that I am not all alone and everything is alright."
It seems like they speak for many of us.

It hits two of our fundamental fears in life:

1.  We are alone, unloved, never really understood, never really accepted, and never really belong.

2.  The world often seems to be going to crap (fill in your own synonym here).

The world, the climate, our country, values, relationships, health, etc.

It seems even amidst prosperity, many people are feeling increasingly pessimistic about the future.

We have lost faith in so many of our leaders, spiritual and political.

We have access to more information than ever and what we have seen has made our hearts sink, more than rise.

Our good friends provide computer training to our house parents every month.

The woman on the right escaped an abusive marriage, but now she and her baby live in a tent on the side of a hill.

This hard working family needed a few bed mats.

This kind lady on the left is the head of Social Work in Chiang Mai. We are excited to work with her more in bringing relief to our neighbors in need.

And in this climate, many are appealing to massive crowds by joining the chorus of doom and gloom.

Cynical is the mood of the hour and cynical people feed it.

This cynicism has affected more of us than we realize.

In the midst of all this pessimism, a remarkable woman who died over 600 years ago has a powerful message for us:

"All shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."

Julian of Norwich is credited as the first woman to write a book in the English language.

In a time of incredible turmoil, constant conflict, and no pain medication, Julian was confident that everything was alright.

How?

Perhaps it sounds a bit naive.

If only she knew about nuclear weapons, climate change, etc, etc.

If only she knew how lonely it could feel with endless social media, but no real friends, perhaps she wouldn't have said it.

Physical Training Day with Home of Grace.

Phillip went beast mode on the leg press and tied for 1st with John for the contest.

Krit wasn't quite sure how this worked...

Mark was all focus on the shoulder machine.

Julian got a glimpse of something and that vision allowed her to look at all the insanity around her, all the violence, all the injustice, and even her own personal pain, and hope.

Hope.

She felt lonely, she knew things were not aright, right now.

She didn't try to deny or ignore the evil around her or the suffering, but she acknowledged them as very real, just not final, realities.

But hope is the ability to look ahead, into the unknown, uncertain future and know that things will be alright.

It is an ability many of us, religious and nonreligious alike, have lost.

Contrary to much of what you hear and read today, this is the message of Jesus for the world:

"You are not alone, you are loved, you are welcomed, you belong.  There is hope.  
Things are wrong, but they can and will all be made right."

Contrary to so much anger and protesting from Christians, this is the hope they are supposed to be sharing:

Not the doom of the world, but the redemption of the world.

One of the first things Jesus taught people was that you don't need to worry about anything, especially not the future.

Because you are not alone (none of us), and everything will be alright.

Not pie-in-the-sky idealism, but practical, literally down-to-earth, presence.

That's why the last thing He said was: "I will be with you always."

The girls love the trampoline!  Thanks Jay and Heidi, Liesl, and Evelyn Pound!

Mark's guitar skills are really impressive; he led a special music number at his church.

Birthday lunch for Matt--Japanese food! (Can you see the baby is almost ready to make her appearance?! Oct 28...)

Lateral lifts, these boys have it down!

So Jesus' advice for your life starts with learning to not give in to worry and fear, and ends with the reminder you are never alone because He will be with you wherever you go.

Fear is causing us all sorts of misery.

The closest emotion to fear is anger, which is why so many of our fears end up making us angry.

This is clear to see in politics and religion (of all varieties). 

We are told to fear 'them' (those who don't think like we do) and that if we don't fight for our rights, 'they' will take them, and ruin our country, our church, our traditions, etc.

We are told to fear an angry God who frowns in disapproval over us, and that if we don't think and  do the things they say we should, we will be terribly punished.

You can see the anger in people who preach these kinds of messages, politicians and pastors alike.

That bothers me tremendously.

Everyone is so angry, so sure they are right, and...so miserable.

This desperate longing to belong, to be part of the group, leads us to further and further divisions.

Because we are afraid of the "others" and afraid to be alone.

All this fear of others who are not like us, which turns so quickly to anger, leaves us exhausted and frustrated and cynical.

Our sweet friend Cindy is a great example of extravagant love. We love her!

So many sweet friends.

For those of us who claim to be followers of Jesus, can we really claim this is a good way to live?

For those of us who are not religious, are you tired of the cycle of pessimism, cynicism, and hopelessness?

When God gets hold of someone's life (when they decide they want to join His project of making the world right), then one of the first things that changes is joy comes.

Some people call this the "fruit" or result, of God living in us.

There is a whole list of things that begin to change when God comes near to us:

There is more love (and less hate).

There is more joy (and less cynicism).

There is more peace (and less anxiety and stress).

There is more patience (with yourself and with others).

There is more kindness (less screaming arguments).

This raises interesting, troubling questions for us who claim to be religious
(how is it we are supposed to have God in us, and yet we are still so angry and fearful?).

But I am more interested in what it says about God.

What must God be like if wherever He goes, there is more love, joy, peace, patience, and kindness?

Who wouldn't want someone like that to be around more often?

Even the house mothers are getting into it!

Our house mother Piikune. She worked harder than anyone on fitness day!

The girls wanted to learn to bake cake!

Mug cakes turned out amazing!

Religion has often (rightly) been accused of being an opiate of the people who cannot handle the bitter reality of life.

But Jesus is not offering an opiate to dull your pain.

He is offering you a cup of coffee and a shovel, to wake you up and prepare you to meet each day, ready to work.

We are not watching a movie where we know the ending and we just have to wait and see that everything will be alright.

Nor are we hiding in a bunker, avoiding contamination.

We are co-workers and partners in the project.

We don't need any more pessimistic, cynical people to tell us how bad things are.

And we don't need any pie-in-the-sky religious people to tell us just come join the group, and hang on until God comes and wipes everything out and proves us right.

Birthday squid!

Got to eat after all that hard work!

Joshua is one of our college graduates and staff members, and he continues to impress me. He can learn just about anything (flux-core welding most recently) and he has a genuinely kind heart and he loves to help others.

Meet our new co-workers, the Parker Family!  They arrive this week and we are all excited to have them!

What we need is cheerful, hopeful people living their lives to make themselves and their world better.

What we need is determined, patient, kind people to lead us to justice, not by picketing signs and angry social media posts, but by the example of their lives.

You are not alone and everything will be alright.

This is the forgotten message of Jesus.

Too often His message has been 'adjusted' for political or institutional purposes.

Instead of a message of joy to the world, it often becomes a message of preferential treatment for a chosen few.

Instead of being a cause for the trees to clap their hands and for the rivers to sing for joy, it has been turned into a message of angry destruction, and the rescue of the people who think the right things.

Imagine for a moment a life entirely free from fear.

So much of our time and energy is spent worrying.

But what if it doesn't have to be that way?

But knowledge, or even belief, isn't chiefly what we need.

We need experience.

Hmm...takes after his mom I think.

Grandpa and Grandma were a big help to put on a little party for Matt!

Happy Penpals!

Neiko has asked me to be his physical trainer and we have a lot of fun!

I celebrated my 33rd birthday a few weeks ago.

What struck me this year was that I had begun to experience what I (thought) I already believed.

I am not sure it does anyone any good to believe in God, until you experience that life can be a good thing.

In fact, believing in God might set you back, if your picture of God is a poor one.

It might be better to stay an agnostic, until you experience a God worth believing in.

Let me try to explain my experience on my birthday:

I realized that I really did think that at the heart of everything, was goodness and love (God).

I realized that so long as I could hold on to that idea, I was not afraid of the future (or anything else).

But the difference is I am coming to experience it, not just think it is so.

Too much of our spiritual life is taken up with what we think we believe.

The spiritual life is not a life separate from your physical life.

You have one life, and that is the life you and God are both interested in: the one you live every day.

Some good friends and mentors.

This baby is just about ready!

These three make me rich beyond my dreams!

I am 33 years old, and this is the best season of my life.

If your philosophy of life is not leading to a better life, more free from fear and more full of love for your neighbors, then I suggest it may be time to make a change.

There is a pride in cynicism and there is a humility in happiness.

Cynicism says that people and things do not change, and that I will choose fear over love.

Happiness says that we do not see or know everything, but I will choose love over fear. 

It is not a certainty, not a moral or spiritual sense of superiority, not a belonging to the right group, but a gratitude that sees life for the gift it is, and rather than clinging to that gift, or hoarding it, gladly shares it with others. 

You are not alone and everything will be alright. 

Our task is to find the God who is with us, accept our small corner of the world He has given us, and work with Him to make it better.

The more we come to experience this God, the easier it becomes to hope.
And the more we hope, the less we cynical we become.
And the less cynical we become, the more we are able to enter cheerfully into our work and do some real good in our world.

Welcome to Joy!

Love,

Matt, Audrey, Ezra, & Baby #2

We had a special guest at staff meeting to teach us about managing our personal finances.

There were a lot of wipe outs...but we had a lot of fun too :-)

The girls were more cautious, but they picked it up quickly.

Taxi and Micky both did great for their first time skating.

A rare photo of everyone on their feet.

Good moments, meeting Audrey and Ez for lunch.

Greetings from Thailand! 

As I get older, I notice that time has a way of accelerating.  How is my son two years old already?  How has it been almost 4 years since we moved to Chiang Mai?

And if I am not careful, I miss the moments.

Life tends to move into habit and familiar ruts.

How many times have you washed the dishes?  

Done the laundry?  

Driven that same route to work everyday? 

This is not a bad thing.  I like routine in my life.  There is a comfort there, and an efficiency.  We learn through repetition.  If you have ever watched workers in a skilled trade, you can tell who has been at it for a long time, because they don't waste any time or resources.

But there is also a risk with routine.  The risk is that our days begin to merge and blur together.

But there are moments in every day that will never be repeated.

Ezra thought he would help with the whiteboard at Thai church.

Child Protection Training with our house parents. Big "thank you" to the Think Small Foundation for coming!

Ez helping at a car wash to raise money for camp!

Days, like people and snowflakes, are unique.  No two are the same.

I am, by nature, a hurrier.  Things need to be done and I want to get them done.  The checklist looms over me like a cloud.

One of the best things that has happened to me in the past 2 years is learning from our Director at Faithful Heart, Dave Callahan, about the 'Unhurried Life.'

Because a lot of moments get lost in our hurry.  And a lot of people.

When we hurry through life, everything and everyone becomes a little blurry.

We don't have time to see faces, and look into eyes, and wonder about beauty and pain, and hopes and dreams.

It's like taking in beautiful scenery at 80 miles an hour.  You might see the large things, but the little things will blow right by you.

But it is hard to slow down.  It is hard to be still.

Paula has not seen her birth mother for some time, it was a happy reunion!

Dad's birthday gift turned out well this year!  Amazing Thai artist!

The rules of this game are unclear, but enthusiasm was not lacking.

Life for us in Thailand right now is full, and getting fuller.  With one child of our own, another due next month, and 35 'adopted' children from Faithful Heart, there is plenty to think and worry about.

"What did Ezra just put in his mouth?  Was that a bug?  How did he get a knife in the microwave?"

"Khun Matt, the college students have stopped doing their chores.  Can you talk to them?"

"Khun Matt the school called, and one of the girls stole some money today."

"Khun Matt we need to go back to the land office for a 4th time, they need more paperwork."

And on and on it goes.  We all have our own list.

My Mom calls it the 'tyranny of the urgent': That nagging pressure that we need to get more done.

Here is a revolutionary thought:  Maybe we need to get less done.

Ginger Farm!  Audrey is due in October!!

Thinking of the small ones in our care...

I just finished a book by a man called John Woolman.  The writing is difficult to read, but the man was something special.

He was one of the first in America to publicly travel and speak against the buying and selling of human beings.

Something he said surprised me.

He said the root of the slave trade was not racism, or some great evil in a few men, but something far more common in virtually all men---the desire to have more.

He said we make two mistakes:

1.  Either we do not work hard enough, and try to find ways to manipulate others to do our share of the work so we can rest at ease.

Or

2.  We work too hard in an effort to get more, have more, and give more for ourselves and our children that neither we, or they need. 

And both are wrong---both are missing the kind of life God wants people to enjoy. 

And both eventually lead to the oppression and manipulation of human beings---whether consciously or not.

Strange, isn't it?  Follow the train of reasoning for a minute:

Baby selfies are adorable

Saturday morning fun...I could get used to this!

The other Tiger Woods improving his golf game (that's my dad).

That baby is getting ready to make her appearance!

Let me give you a suggestion that has been a huge help to me:
(thank you Dave Callahan & Dallas Willard)


(Maybe bring some paper and a pen).

Sit down and look at your life---your family, your work, your schedule, your activities and hobbies, your kids' activities, your marriage, your future goals, etc.

Be honest and ask yourself:  "Is this the best life I envision for myself and my family?"

If you cannot honestly answer Yes, then be brave and keep going.

"Why not?" 

Here you need to be careful.  The most common answer to this question goes something like this:

"Well, if only I had more..."

More time, more energy, more money, etc.

But here is the point Jesus can really help free us.

He says a good life is possible, no matter who you are, or where you are, right now.

There is an abundantly good life available to each of us right now.

(There are exceptions where human beings are afflicting great evil on others, but I am assuming most of you are not in that boat.)

Child Protection Training with our kids.

Swimming with the girls!

Learning together!

So go back to our question:

Why isn't life as good as it might be for you right now?

If we are honest, I think most of us will trace it back to one of those two mistakes John Woolman pointed out.

Either we are not working enough, and oppressing others...

or

We are working too hard and oppressing ourselves and our families.

And both of these come from a feeling that we need more.

But Jesus says we don't need more in order to have a good life.

More isn't the answer.

God is happy to give you all you need for a good life already.

This hurried life, this frantic schedule, this pressure and stress of debt, and bills, and responsibilities, isn't necessary.

Not only is it not necessary, it's robbing our lives of happiness.

We are missing the moments in the hurry.

We need an unhurried life to enjoy the moments.

This is not easy, and it takes a lot of trust.

We love these sweet girls!

Little Mien baby!

Learning about our bodies

You get the idea.

This reaches deep into us, and how we think (we can't help it).

And quietly, Jesus' long forgotten words whisper:

"Life does not consist in abundance of possessions (having more)." 

Life is more than food and clothes and tvs and big houses and big vacations.

We know this in theory, but we still get caught up in the current of our culture.

So as you think about your life, for you and your family, stop to enjoy the moments.

Maybe a better life means having less, but enjoying more.

The Bible has a famous saying, that "God's mercies are new every morning."

What that means is that God gives wonderful new gifts to us each day.

And God's best gifts are people and moments.

So slow down, take a good look at your life, don't be afraid to make changes.

Enjoy the moments, and experience the life God wants to give you.

Thank you for the moments we enjoy with so many of you.
We like you just the way you are.

Matt, Audrey, Ezra, & Baby #2 (Due October 28!!!)

Always enjoy telling our kids how valuable and loved they each are!

Big thank you to Ben & Sarah Klopp for our new wood planer!  Excited to help our kids learn more about making furniture!

Ezra losses his crib when the new baby comes, so we started a new bed with our new wood planer!

Impromptu dinner with our German neighbors---Yes, Calvin and Hobbes is cross cultural!

Bowling day with Faithful Heart. Focused!

What do you do after returning from time with friends, family, and tons of people who are always looking to encourage and build you up?

You take a reality check.

We need encouragement, and we need people in our lives who believe in us, and cheer us on.

But we need to come back down too---to deny any hype about who we might appear to be vs. who we actually are.

We are far too ready to believe ourselves better than we are.

This is especially dangerous if you work in the nonprofit world, or are religious, or have strong moral opinions.

Ironically, even if we profit from our nonprofit work, it is still remarkably easy to feel a little proud, and even a bit superior to 'those' people working just to make money.

Sadly, in my faith family, it is far too common to hear of someone leaving a good vocation to follow a "call to ministry."

What this usually means is they are leaving the people who are not believers, in order to go work  among the already-believers.

Which is sort of like a doctor leaving his patients to go work among other doctors.

With zero bowling experience, these boys picked it up quickly and were getting close to 200 by the end.

Becky working on her form :)

Thankful for a fun day together!

Regardless whether we consider ourselves religious or not, for all of us there is a terrible risk of beginning to believe our own hype and starting to think we are better than we actually are.

It is a terrible risk because it deludes us into complacency and usually, indifference.  And complacency and indifference are the enemies of all goodness and greatness.

Instead of continually struggling to become the better versions of ourselves God has made us and called us to be, we settle down with comfortable illusions of our own goodness.

And nothing crushes compassion for others like the belief that we are already good enough, already doing enough.

People love to deny their perfection, but boast of their goodness.

Sometimes what we need is to spend time with someone who is so far above us in love, service, humility, and giving, that we are ashamed to bring up any of those flimsy justifications we use to try to convince ourselves that we really are "good people."

(Or to meet someone we don't like, but who is remarkably similar to us.)

Ploy nailed it!

Yay was having a good time!

But comparison is not the answer.

If we fall into this trap, our goal becomes to be merely better than.

And how can you measure goodness that way?

If I am better than 40% of people, am I good?

That still means I am worse than more than half the people in the world; not so good.

No, you can't measure yourself be looking at the person next to you.

The key is to relentlessly strive to be the best version of ourselves.

The only measure is against the person you were yesterday.

But so long as even a hint of self-satisfaction remains in us, we will be quick to give up the hard work of growing better, and settle instead for the easy assurance that we are already good enough. 

We become stunted people---never living up to our potential, to what we might be, and what we might do for our world.

It robs us, and it robs our neighbors, of our unique contribution to the world and our human family.

Preparing for baby girl at our house! She's not even here yet and Ez is already all up in her space! :)

Ezra really liked Thai Sunday school.

Always a hit with the ladies!

Healthy self-esteem is not believing you are better than you actually are, but believing in the potential inside of you.

The first step to healthy self-esteem might just be admitting you are not as good of a person as you think you are.

Then you can also admit honestly, that you don't have to stay that way, and in fact, your life can become something beautiful and useful that blesses others.

And that is the key to a happy, meaningful life.

You have to start with the truth of the present before you can go anywhere new in the future.

Imagine starting a journey without knowing where you are starting from.

You might know how to get from Cleveland to Chicago, but if you think you are starting from Cleveland, but actually you are in Cincinnati, you will have problems.

These girls were impressed with the machinery

This guy just needed a seat

54 babysitters is just about enough to keep an eye on Ez

Too often people of my faith family have developed an unhealthy obsession with their own badness.

Which strangely, usually leads us right back to thinking we are better than we really are.

This is not a call to wallow in your wretchedness, but to recognize your own tendency to believe you are better than you actually are.

Once you recognize the delusion for what it is, you can enter into the realm of reality and start making real changes in your life.

Religion has often sounded the trumpet that people are bad, but how often they have failed to remind them that they can be good, or at least better than they are now.

Singing Happy Birthday to August Birthdays at Thai church!

Our house mother Bpan was sick last week, but thankfully is back home and feeling better.

These girls are so much fun!

Perhaps our greatest point of danger is when we begin to make some real progress.

It is right after we buy a homeless man a $5 meal that we begin to feel that good, warm sensation of helping a fellow human being, that quickly transforms into the sensation of how good a guy I must be to do a thing like that!

(Never mind that without a hesitation, I bought a $100 toy for myself only hours before that I have no real need of).

Was it right to buy him the meal?

Yes, a thousand times Yes!

Was it right to believe that I am a good person for doing so?

No, a thousand times No!

Why?

Because the minute you believe you are already good, you will stop making actual progress becoming better. 

Celebrating Ezra's 2nd birthday with Nana and Papa in Thailand!

Some people who made actual progress becoming better in their lives, almost always said less and less about it.

St Vincent de Paul gave far more to the poor and hungry than most of us do.

But as he grew into a better man, his view of his own generosity changed.

Instead of expecting the poor to show proper gratitude to him for what he gave them, he began to ask their forgiveness for what he gave them.

The more he grew in goodness, the more he began to understand that his own success, prosperity, and well-being were determined more by where he was born, what opportunities he had had, and God's own generosity towards him, than anything he had done for himself.

Humility produced gratitude.  Gratitude produced compassion.  Compassion produced love. 

And love never ends.

It helps if you lean...

We are never sure where Ez's hands have been...

Aunt Joy...our go-to babysitter and lovely friend.

I want to be a good man.

Therefore, I dare not think I already am one.

We must all face our own hypocrisy and it is not easy.

I am a Christian working for a nonprofit, trying to help orphaned children have a home and a future.

It is so easy to start to believe I am better than I actually am.

It is so easy to take the well-intended compliments from friends on Facebook, and begin to believe them.

It is so easy to look at the person next to me, or across the street (or of another religion) and think:
'I must be pretty good because I seem ahead of that guy.'

It is so easy to believe I am better than I really am.

Because I want to believe it.

So how can I grow in humility, that I may grow in gratitude?

And how can I grow in gratitude, that I may grow in compassion?

And how can I grow in compassion, that I may grow in love?
(And become the incredible person I was made to be?)

Everyone seems to like ice cream

Airtime!  She nailed it!

If you are willing to hear the suggestions of a not-very-good man trying to become better, I will offer a few.

1.  Take regular reality checks from the praise of others

      a.  Find people who are better than you are and spend time with them.
      b.  Read books about people who were better than you and imitate their lives.
      c.  Listen to your family and the people who really know you.  Give them opportunities to gently             tell you where you can become better.

2.  Do Menial Chores

     a.  There are lots of reasons to let someone else do your menial chores, but almost all of them are            somehow linked to pride (my time is too valuable, I am too important, I have more important              work to do, etc.)   Jesus washed feet.  We can wash dishes.
     b.  Brother Lawerence wrote the book the Practice of the Presence of God.  And he insisted some            of the most valuable time with God he had was when he was doing menial chores.
     c.  Remember God said that the path to greatness in His eyes was to become the slave and servant            of others---not to be served by others.

3.  Avoid Feelings of Superiority and Pride in Titles

     a.  This is connected to the one before.

          Contrary to common assumption, no one is good because of their job or religious title (pastor,              missionary, humanitarian worker, Republican, Democrat, Christian, Buddhist, etc.)

         There is a reason Jesus told us never to call someone Master, or Teacher (or pastor or reverend)           --because he knew it would go to our heads.

         Instead, he says, you are all on the same level as brothers.  Those special titles tempt us to                   believe we are more important than the others around us.

Family photos from our time in the States! We have 10 weeks to go until baby girl arrives!

Malcolm Muggeridge describes the temptation to superiority a little too well, especially for those        of us working cross culturally (beware, this hits close to home):

[But] when I was back in Calcutta with Mother Teresa... I could not but contrast my attitude with hers; not just in the sense that we moved in opposite directions — she to where the poor and afflicted were, and I away from them.

It was in her response to them that the true contrast lay; she seeing in each sorrowing, suffering human being, neither a body surplus to a population norm, nor a waste product, but the image of a sorrowing, suffering Savior, so that in solacing them she had the inestimable honor and joy of solacing him."

Audrey's girlfriends put on a joint baby shower for her and a friend; it was pretty cute!

We are not as good as we think you are.

But we can be better than we are now.

You have more potential than you can possibly imagine, but the only way to realize it, is to consider others as more significant than yourself.

When we come to see the potential in ourselves, and in others, and learn to love them as we love ourselves, we will not be proud of ourselves, but feel honored and joyful to have had the privilege of serving them and serving God in them.

May we move towards those in need, and away from a self-satisfied pride together! 

Your not-as-good-as you-think-but-growing-better brothers and sisters in Thailand,

Some beautiful artwork from our friend Eva during her time in Thailand, You can check out her art here: http://www.evasedjo.com/