It's a question I'm sure we'll hear a hundred times. It will be asked casually, as if I'll have a casual answer. Which, I won't. That's a pretty loaded question. I could respond, “oh, India was fine.” That would be easy. But completely inadequate & not completely honest.

The first leg of our journey was exhausting---physically, emotionally & spiritually. The cloud of culture shock loomed over us for that first month. There was a moment walking through the streets--–the air was thick with heat, heavy with strange smells, drowning with thousands of noises, breaking with incessant movement. Very little resembled home. Very little was familiar. This 'India' was overwhelming. A sense of panic welled inside of me. There in the midst of everything foreign, against all rationality, I had an innate panic that this was all that existed in the world, there was no going back—this fear that home didn't exist anymore—like we were worlds apart & there was no portal home.

It was like in C.S. Lewis' book, The Magician's Nephew...the boy, Digory, traveled from world to world, but always needed the magic ring, without which, he could not go home. It felt like I lost the ring & I was trapped in this terrifyingly foreign world. I hated that feeling, but it was the closest I've ever felt to God. I clung to God. He is the only familiar & faithful in a land of foreign. He transcends 'worlds' with me. Like in the book—God is the Aslan that all the worlds have heard of. He is the constant known in worlds of unknown.

I read & reread these verses to find courage & comfort:

{01 John 04}

There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life, fear of death, fear of judgment, is one not fully formed in love.

{Jude}

...loved by God the Father, called & kept safe by Jesus Christ. Relax. Everything's going to be alright; rest, everything's coming together; open your hearts, love is on the way!

...but you dear friends, carefully build yourselves up in this most holy faith by praying in the Holy Spirit, staying right at the center of God's love, keeping your arms open & outstretched, ready for the mercy of our Master, Jesus Christ.

{Isaiah 30}

Your salvation requires you to turn back to Me & stop your silly efforts to save yourselves. Your strength will come from settling down in complete dependence on Me—the very thing you've been unwilling to do. // ...But God's not finished. He's waiting around to be gracious to you. He's gathering strength to show mercy to you. God takes the time to do everything right—everything. Those who wait around for Him are the lucky ones.

In that panic moment, I had to remember that I am in the center of God's love. The fear paralyzed me. When I finally stopped & lifted my head...I found God. He reminded me that dependence on Him is the only way I can walk in strength. Mercy & grace have come before us & are close behind. The graces God gave (& give) us astound me. We walked out of this journey whole & healthy because of His grace & mercy on us. (Go listen to Whom Shall I Fear by Chris Tomlin---that's our India "take courage" song).

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Matt & I left India for a month long detour to Thailand & when we returned to India we found the journey still held it's challenges, but more-so, it was a rich & fulfilling time...

It was a warm night. The sun was well under. We drove for 40 minutes out into a village near Solapur, India. We arrived in the pitch black of the electrcity-less village. Looking up, the stars were strong & the Milky Way was swirled about. New friends led us through thin paths between the make-shift houses. I startled a few times realizing that people were sitting only feet from us, against their homes, watching us all pass by in the night. Across the village, shouts & music drifted toward us—most of the village people were there, celebrating Ganesh—an elephant god. We weren't here to worship Ganesh, we were here to worship the Most High God, the Living God. One by one, we ducked into a cement-block room. This is where the Church gathers to worship God together. Candles littered the room. People slowly gathered in behind us. Mothers, fathers, children, aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends. Looking tired & worn from a day of hot work in the sun. They received us quietly, with smiles & gentleness. An Indian man began to drum out a beat & the worship music started to flow. I savored that moment. There I was, in a village in India, sitting in this candle-lit holy space, worshiping Jesus with these brothers & sisters. Incredible.

It was after this experience that it really sunk in that God's arm is not short. God is in the home. He is in the neighbor. He is in the beggar on the street. God is in the cities. He is in the most remote village, further out than you & I would dare to go. He is there! His power works beyond us!

Here's a excerpt from my journal from the same time as the night scene I just described...

23 September, Monday

Solapur, India

Since returning to India, about 5 days ago now, God has given me the grace to see through His eyes. See the beauty that is here. To see the work He is at. To gaze in awe of His people. His earth. His work. My fear has dissipated. I've finally been able to relax & enjoy. I feel close to God here.

We've seen God's long arm reach across the people of India. Taking night buses from here to there & again to there—HE is at work in India! His Church is good—His hand & truth is upon them! What a relief that we don't have to spread God's love in our own power—but HE does it—in His power. & we have the privilege of helping.

{Psalm 22}

From the four corners of the earth, people are coming to their senses, are running back to God. Long-lost families are falling on their faces before Him. God has taken charge; from now on He has the last word.

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So...how was India?

India was challenging, inspiring, full of richness, plagued by poverty, broken by the world, & being healed by the Kingdom...

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