Hot season is here and we are beginning to feel it!  The heat seems to make everything a bit more difficult.  After a particularly trying Thai lesson I found myself wondering why some things are so hard.  I don't enjoy feeling foolish, and when I really apply myself to do something and still seem unsuccessful, I am not a happy camper.  (It doesn't help matters when your spouse seems to have a natural knack for what you struggle with!)  Trying hard things with your spouse may well lead to a new challenge in your relationship!  We are rarely at our best when we are frustrated. In my own case, I think I have been accustomed to attempting only what I already have a natural talent for.  

I am at a disadvantage because I didn't take advantage of the opportunities I had when I was younger of learning to do what I am not immediately good at.  

'Why can't everything be easy?'

  I am not entirely sure what the answer to that question may be, but one thing is certain: 

we gain invaluable fruit from struggle---doing what we aren't good at.  

For one, we learn to endure.  One of the great disservices we often do for those we love is to attempt to spare them any hardship.  Life is hard and what will happen when we can't protect them anymore?  

Audrey has a book on parenting and the dangers of raising children who haven't learned how to struggle...it has a great title: Nurture Shock.  My good friend Mary Miller (hi, Mary!), taught me that when we raise plants in the greenhouse, we need to 'toughen up' the plants before we put them outside.  Otherwise, their stems will not be strong enough to support the plant in the wind.  

Struggle teaches us to survive in the winds of life, and not just survive, but grow.  

I think God buries some talents in us a little deeper, so we will appreciate them more when we finally do discover them.  

    

The other advantage of struggle is that we learn empathy. Now that sounds very nice, but learning to appreciate the struggles and suffering of others cannot be fully done without personal experience.  

What is the benefit of me trying hard to learn Thai and feeling like an idiot and a failure?  I become kinder, humbler, and more patient.  I know how bad it feels to try and not succeed.  I realize that just because someone doesn't pick up something right away, doesn't mean he or she can't get it with time. 

Now, I not only begin to believe in my own ability to overcome, but I also believe in the ability of others to do the same.  Now we may find ourselves able to approach Paul's words in a new way:

"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." 

The 3rd benefit of struggle is perhaps the most important.  We learn not only to endure and to empathize, but to see the glory and beauty of diversity.  

I am not the best at everything and that isn't bad.  On the contrary, it invites me into relationship and cooperation and best of all, laughter.  I can count others as more significant than myself, without having to feel insignificant myself.  I can take others seriously without having to take myself too seriously.  I can laugh with Audrey at the absurd sounds that come out of my mouth when I am trying to make Thai tones.  And cheer her on when she nails it.  I can feel good about what I am gifted at, without having to measure myself against anyone else. 

 Apples and oranges.  I don't need to be an orange if I am an apple, but I can appreciate that life is much better that both exist.