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Matt and Audrey Pound

Loi Gratong Festival

Greetings from Thailand, and Happy Thanksgiving!

For Thai people, we are entering the season of down jackets and gloves.  For me, it is the happy season of less sweating, and deliciously cool mornings.  As we approach 3 years living in Thailand, we feel overwhelmed with gratitude and wonder.  There are two things I am supremely grateful for at this point in my life:

1.  I did not have my own way, or get what I wanted, (but something far better!)
2.  We gain through losing

Lanterns at night with Tiida to celebrate her birthday!

Solomon was baptized this past Sunday at the Chinese Church in Chiang Mai.  We are proud of this young man!

These young builders are learning to make wardrobes for themselves

As some of you with children may have surmised, the unusual title for my post comes from interaction with my son, Ezra.

This morning, as I was offering him a tasty and nutritious bowl of oatmeal, he spotted out of the corner of his eye a bright orange plastic bag tied with a bow.  He was no longer at all interested in the oatmeal and was filled with an uncontrollable longing to have whatever wonderful treasures were held in that enchanting bag.

Having a bit more knowledge of the situation, I tried to tell him that he did not want that bag.  As his father, I loved to give him good gifts and see him happy.  He could trust me when I said that bag was not something that would give him any real, or satisfying pleasure.

Oh, but he did want that bag!  He really, really, did!  If only Dad could understand just how badly, how desperately, he wanted, and needed that bag!

I tried to explain it to him.  I looked him in the eyes, and held the bag aloft saying, "Ewwww, yuckie," but he would not believe me.  Finally, I told him frankly, 'Ezra, that bag is your poopy diaper we changed earlier.  You don't want that."

Nathan brings a lot of fun to the college dorm.  What else do you do with a huge fruit peel?  Make a hat!

The complex art of Christmas Card design

The girls seemed to take more readily than the boys to this craft process


But Ezra was distrustful.  Hadn't their been times when he had something delicious of fun, like dirt or broken glass, and Dad had taken it away from him?  Perhaps Dad was once again withholding some good from him.  So Ezra began to try every thing he could think of to persuade Dad to give him the bag.

Perhaps Dad was simply greedy and didn't want to share his good things with his son.  So Ezra began to look with sad eyes at Dad and whimper.  You never saw a baby look so pitiful.

But Dad continued to say no.

Perhaps Dad was a strict aesthetic and was opposed to fun and joy and laughter and play.  So Ezra, looked very somber and tried to express his desire to use the bag for a good and noble purpose.  If only Dad would give it to him, he would see the good use he would make of it.  It was not really for Ezra at all, but for the general welfare.

Still, Dad was unmoved by his bargaining, and would not give him the bag.

Perhaps Dad was simply uncaring and unloving.  Maybe Dad didn't even really want Ezra to be happy.  Maybe Dad was simply taking care of Ezra so that one day Ezra would take care of Dad.  Maybe Dad was using Ezra for his own happiness, instead of loving Ezra to make him happy.

So Ezra tried to distract Dad by pointing to something just over Dad's shoulder and when Dad looked, he tried to snatch the bag for himself.

But Dad intervened and pushed the bag out of his reach.

Ezra began to wail in agony and misery.  What a cruel, uncaring Dad he had, who would not give him what he wanted!  Was it not a natural desire to want such a pretty bag?  What could be wrong with such a natural desire?  What a bad Dad to deny such a desire!

With such a cruel Dad, Ezra may even have begun to hope there was no such thing as a big, bad Dad.  Maybe the problem was that Ezra had to just settle himself down and work hard, and wait for his opportunity to seize the bag for himself.  Maybe life was simply a game you played and you were either good at it, or not.  Maybe it was about making things happen for yourself and getting what you could for yourself.

So Ezra turned away from his Dad and went out to the living room to play on his own.  From now on, he would do things on his own.

However, once the boys understood they jumped right in!

Celebrating a good man and a father to many.  

Dave's Birthday Buffet!  I like this tradition!


But soon Ezra began to be hungry and wondered why his Dad had not fed him much breakfast.

The old suspicion of a greedy Dad who didn't like to share came back into his little mind.

His bottom was beginning to hurt because his diaper needed changing, but his Dad had not come to change it.

The old suspicion that Dad wanted Ezra to be uncomfortable and unhappy crept back into his thoughts.

Hungry and uncomfortable, he thought again that perhaps after all Dad really was uncaring and did not really love him.

Saddened, but resolved to no longer feel sorry and sad, Ezra set out to achieve his own goals, by his own strength.  Tentatively looking around, he did not see his Dad, but there was the brilliant orange bag just at the edge of the table!  With tremendous effort, he at last succeeded in grabbing the bag.

What joy, what rapture was his!  He had the glorious bag!  And he didn't even need Dad after all!  From now on, he would form his own desires and fulfill them himself!  How great would his happiness be!  He didn't need Dad or his rules.

Ezra gloried in his bag, and his achievement!  He shook it and dragged it around the living room in a sort of victory lap.  He stared at it in admiration and began to dream of all the wonderful things he planned to do with the bag.  He thought of the years of happiness it would bring him and the security he felt in possessing it as his very own.

But soon his joy began to fade.  The bag already seemed a bit boring.  And there was a funny, unpleasant smell that lingered about it.

Fearing the creeping dissatisfaction coming upon him, Ezra once again began to march around the living room in grim determination to hold on to those initial feelings of ecstasy.

Tiida's favorite dinner--the fish restaurant!

Beautiful night views! 
Ez loves his grandma!




Then he saw his Dad watching him.

Fear swept over him.  Had Dad come to take away his bag, his joy?

He seized the bag with both hands and turned to run away.

But his Dad remained where he was.

Good.  Maybe Dad realized that he couldn't ruin Ezra's happiness any more, that Ezra was a baby who could take care of himself.  A baby wise to his cruel Dad's schemes, who could make his own way in the world.

It was almost as if the joy in the bag had been rekindled by the threat of its loss.  Once again Ezra reveled in his possession and his accomplishment.

But again, it soon began to fade.  He began to look at other bags, and wonder if maybe he had gotten the raw deal.  Maybe other babies had all the good bags and his was somehow not as good as theirs.  What he needed was a new bag!  He had the wrong bag!

Suddenly, Dad came over.  Fear swept his small body.  But Dad made no effort to take his bag.  He simply bent down and said:

"Ezra, your Daddy loves you so much.  How would you like a fresh diaper, some lunch, and a special toy?"

Ezra faced a crisis.  He was quite hungry and his diaper was very uncomfortable, and a new toy sounded very good, but his Dad's hands were empty.  And he remembered the earlier denial of his cherished bag.  He stood frozen in uncertainty.

Progress!

Almost there...

The prototype $37 wardrobe, strong and attractive

The challenge of durability and cost effectiveness 

He looked again at his bag.  Now that he saw it, it looked more like a plain old plastic trash bag.  Now that he thought about, it did smell like a poopy diaper.  Perhaps his Dad had been telling the truth.

Perhaps his Dad was not really greedy after all.  He could vaguely remember his Dad giving him lots of nice things happily.

Perhaps his Dad was not against fun and laughter and happiness after all.  He could just now recall some memories of Dad laughing and playing with him.

Perhaps his Dad really wanted Ezra to be happy.  Ezra almost remembered times when Dad seemed most happy because Ezra was happy.

Perhaps Dad was real after all, and really did love him.

With a slight pain of loss, Ezra let the poop bag drop to the floor.  It was hard to let it go of his desire after working so hard to achieve it.  But looking at his Dad, he saw love in his eyes. And realizing that he really could never live on his own, and that he would never want to, he held up his small arms and let his Daddy pick him up and give him better things.

No matter where you are, or who you are, you have a Father who loves you.  No matter what you believe, or what you want, you have a Dad who wants to give you the very best.  Perhaps the best news the world has ever received is that the most powerful Being in the Universe is also the most loving.  That the God who made all things and all people, is the person Jesus.

Let the "poop bags" go, and let your Father give you His very best!

Happy Thanksgiving from Matt, Audrey, and Ezra!

PS: Special Post coming soon about the land project!!!

How God feels about His children!


Special swimming day and lunch with Home of Light!

The water slide was a big hit!

Ezra loved his big brothers and did not want to miss out on any of the fun!



9:17 PM 1 comments
Lunch with our college students!

Greetings from Thailand! 

What do you do when you do not have the power to accomplish the tasks you seek? 
We often find that the work in front of us is beyond our ability or power. 
How do you leverage greater power to accomplish greater things?  

We dare not accept evil realities like hungry children or homeless refugees. 
But how on earth can small people like us make a difference in such huge issues?  

Working to accomplish good in the world can often feel like this.

Patience is not in itself powerful, (though being able to control yourself is a form of power),
but patience is the means we can leverage power through.  

More simply put, we access power through an unlikely tool: waiting. 


Now if you are wired like I am, you like to get things done.  You like to take things in your hands, and produce the outcome you desire.  And our own accomplishments can deceive us into thinking that activity is the only, or even best way, to doing great things.  We reject that passive fatalism that refuses to take responsibility or blame for what happens to us in life. 

This is a very western mindset and it has many benefits, and many detriments.  The East has been teaching me more about patience.  And to my surprise, patience is not always passive.
 In fact, I am finding far greater power in patience than I ever did in my own actions. 

Ezra has lots of little lady friends at Faithful Heart


6am has some benfits

The patience of the people here is astounding.  I woke at 6 am to go to the immigration office to stand in line for a queue so I could stand in another line again later.  The queue office does not open until 8:30.  The actual office does not open until 9.  There were virtually no seats, so we stood.  For over two hours we stood, sat, and squatted, waiting for the line so we could officially be in line.
No one was grumbling.  No one even seemed to be bothered.

Later this same day, I went to print some photos.  "15 minutes," the woman told me.  I returned 20 minutes later. "15 minutes" she said again.  I came back 2 hours later.  "Sorry the machine has a problem, come back tonight."

In moments like these, my feeling is not of power, but of powerlessness.  I cannot control these circumstances, I cannot accomplish what I desire.  And it is a frustrating feeling.  

College students looking diligent and attentive...

College students looking goofy and silly...the boys were a little shy

Ezra seemed confused on whether we were cleaning the office or making bigger messes

But maybe we are missing something.

Is frustration inevitable? 
I may be compelled to wait, but can anyone compel me to be unhappy about it? 

GK Chesterton wrote of St. Francis:

"He may have been the poorest man on earth, but he was certainly the happiest."  

If I can learn to not just endure, but embrace these opportunities to be patient, perhaps there is power there.  Maybe our greatest power comes through our weakness, not our strength.

Now, this is not the same as accepting everything with resignation, never believing we have any say or impact on our own life or fate.  In fact, it is quite the opposite. 

It is recognizing the only true way to bring about the kind of change we want.  If we cannot control circumstances, if we cannot change minds or hearts, if we cannot drive out evil, we must either give up, or learn to work and wait.  Work for what we can change, wait for what we cannot.  But it is an active waiting, an expectant waiting.  It is a prayerful waiting.

Office Cleaning Day!

Everyone was hungry after a morning of hard work

Pii Chuum, Wep, and Mong picking weeds, cleaning up the office.

The desire and pressure to produce is strong in us.

Results talk.

It doesn't matter what your work is.  If you work at a university, it is about the number of students, the amount of money coming in.  If you are a pastor, it is about the number of people you can draw to the church.  If you are in business, it is about maximizing the profits.  We can't help ourselves.

But results are misleading. 

We all know of businesses caught exploiting or deceiving people to increase profits.  Or universities who become more focused on quantity than quality.  We know of mega church pastors who draw huge crowds, but are nothing like the Jesus they preach.

In any work with people, where we seek to help them become better, we must start by acknowledging our inability to do the very things we desire.

You can feed a child.  You can help that child go to school.  You can fight for the rights of a child.  But you cannot make a child good.  You cannot get into the heart of a child and make them want to choose good and reject evil, to be kind, and reject selfishness.

We can train, we can teach, we can encourage and we can discipline, but we cannot change a human heart. 

It only makes sense when faced with something you can not do, to find someone who can, and obtain their help.  I cannot speak Chinese.  It doesn't matter how loudly or slowly I speak English to a person who only understands Chinese.  I must find someone who can speak and understand both English and Chinese.

It is the same with trying to improve lives.  We need someone who is able to give life.  We need someone who knows the complexities and depths of the human heart.  We need someone who so completely loves every individual that he or she is able to seek their welfare apart from any false motives of egoism, pride, or proving oneself.  

Doing dishes with Dad (Free tip: Want to grow in patience?  Wash your dishes by hand!)

That time when the food wasn't very tasty...the Thais have a great phrase for this, it translates literally, "not quite delicious."

Ezra found the bottle of computer ink at the office (Free tip #2 Want to grow in patience? Care for young children.)

That is what makes patience powerful.  We tap into resources outside of ourselves, greater than ourselves---into God's resources.

Have you ever thought of the faith that is required to be happily patient? 

It is my experience, that when we can yield our preferences, and gladly accept whatever comes, we become powerful.  And in more ways than one.  Every fear is the result of something else having power over us.  Fear is the fruit of unbelief, whereas peace is the fruit of trust.  And when we wait upon a good God, we shall not be disappointed.

"Indeed, none who wait for God shall be embarrassed or ashamed." (Psalm 25:3)  

Coming to Thailand has had a profound impact on what I believe about my own abilities.  My desires have changed.  And more and more, I find myself realizing I cannot do what I want to do.

There is a struggle there with discouragement.  But it is not the most important reality.  The most important reality is not what I can or cannot do, but what God can do.  When I find myself at the end of my ability, I am not finished.  Now, I begin to learn to pray.  And wait.

And that combination has been far more effective in Thailand than anything else I have done.
And at the same time, it is a cure for my own ailments.

Suddenly, life does not need to be a hectic drive to produce, to earn, to advance, to impress.  We can slow down, we can take time to breath deeply and enjoy the scent of roses and the beauty of the sky and sunsets.  I am no longer carrying the crushing weight of impossible tasks.  I have left them in good hands.

Joshua teaching Jonathan how to use the mower...there might be some Tom Sawyer whitewashing going on here.

Stop and see the world around you.  It is amazing!

Mark eating a well deserved lunch after we were playing soccer and I collided with him hard, my knee to his stomach. 
He made an incredible save and endured the pain heroically.  

My posture is of readiness, rest, and hope.

Ready to play my part, confident it is within my ability, because God would never demand what He will not supply.

Resting because I recognize my frailty and weakness, and yet know it does not disqualify me, but is part of God's design for us. 

Hope, because all shall be well and God who made the world is able to set it to right.  I contribute, but I do not control.

That is the fruit of patience.  It destroys anxiety and stress.  It rebukes evaluating people by production and helps us regain more of what it means to be human.  It frees us from work and schedules which become enslaving and exhausting.
Rice paddy in our neighborhood

Patience is not gritting our teeth and saying: 'That's the way it goes.'  Patience is the quiet rest of a heart that trusts God to see things through.  It is feeling relaxed when everything and maybe everyone around you is seemingly out of control.  It is pausing to pray in the midst of a busy day because God will help us get done what needs doing.

So relax.  Be still.  Take a deep breath.  Hug your children.  Laugh with a friend.

Work for justice and peace, by waiting and praying.  The greatest strength to heal our world is found in God.  Wait for him, ask for his help.  Let patience make you powerful.

In love and hope,

Matt, Audrey, & fuzzy Ez

Visiting an organic farm outside of town

12:16 AM 1 comments

The Mountains of Chiang Mai!

Blindfolded banana eating!

We need to discuss dribbling rules, but they are getting it!

In the midst of camps, conferences, sports days, and lots of emails and everyday issues, we find ourselves struggling to heed Dallas Willard's advice to "ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life."  

Not because productivity is bad, but because we have a tendency to lose sight of the bigger things when the tyranny of the urgent presses around us.  

And sometimes the bigger things are actually the smaller things.  

Like our own growth.  

It is tempting when you work in an exotic setting or vocation (think: pastor, missionary, working for a nonprofit), to imagine that our commitment to a cause is more important or at least more significant, than the hum-drum things like growing better.

What that often conceals though, is our own lack of growth. 
And we dare not confuse accomplishment with personal growth.

Your accomplishments you will leave behind, you are stuck with yourself. 

Loved this conference!  200 attendees from 40 countries--a different speaker from a
different country every day!  Inspiring group of people!

Our house father, Ajan Wep (left red shirt) learning to graft eggplants

Joy & Bom's Engagement Ceremony!

There is a human tendency, which I have not yet found a remedy for, to always seek to find a position of relative security and strength from which to do something impressive.  

I call this plateauing.

We instinctively have a goal in mind, usually one we are confident we can reach, and when we achieve it, we look for how we can shift from striving, to maintaining the status quo.    

This is because growth is so hard.  

I just celebrated my 32nd birthday.  (That sounds old just writing it!)  

My body is certainly aging, but how is my soul maturing (the person I am)?

Would I like the me I am becoming if I continued on my present course?  
Would anyone else?

Ez is in good hands, Pring loves him a whole lot!

Lunch time!

Joshua dispatching one of several Cobras at our office... 


The plateau is a myth.

 Life is moving, like time. You can't stand still, you are becoming something.  

If you are not changing, or don't think you are, you are probably not growing.

Many of us fall prey to a sense of having already arrived.
We call our lack of change and growth "consistency."

But this is in itself a kind of arrogance.  "Since I already have all the right things, since I already am a good person, it is enough to just continue doing what I have been doing."  

It is so easy to fall into the good-enough trap.

"Aren't there people worse than me?"  
"Aren't I better than most people?"

Have you ever noticed how much easier it is to identify the faults of others than our own?  

Or how much easier it is to focus on a task, or accomplishment, or project, than on our own heart?

The plateau offers plenty of projects, that don't really ask anything beyond our current abilities.  

The mountain calls us to keep climbing.

It calls us beyond what we are comfortable with, beyond what we are currently capable of.

In contrast, the plateau offers the false security of business as usual, the familiar.

The same old ways.
The same old methods.
The same old results.

But what if the chief reason you are where you are, is not so you can accomplish something, 
but so that you might become something?

There is no retirement from growth. We are all becoming something.  The only question is, what. 

One hour from Chiang Mai, a village living in traditional bamboo homes.  

We attended a funeral for Gawley's mother in his home village. 
Please pray for him and his family.  

Several of our staff know and love Gawley (white shirt on Matt's right), we traveled together for the funeral.  



Are your choices hindering or helping your growth?  

Are you choosing the easy way?  

Are you choosing the 'don't rock the boat,' don't offend anyone, way?

Are you choosing the 'play it safe,' don't risk a good thing for a better, way?

There is no plateau, you are going up or down, getting better or getting worse. 

 And the struggle is the greatest of your life, the enemy is within and without!  And it is precisely this struggle that we want to avoid.  I don't know about you, but I like it when things go smoothly.  
But if we are honest, we know that isn't where we usually grow. 

It's when the stuff hits the fan, when stuff falls apart, when people betray and mistreat us, when our carefully laid plans are laid waste.  Then we get to see something of what we really are.  And God's chief concern is not what we can do or accomplish, (people are impressed with that, but God knows better) but God is concerned with who or what, we really are and are becoming.

God doesn't deal in fictions, only in truth.

There is a point to life: to become fit for more and more life, until life utterly drowns out death. 

Ez got me balloons for my birthday...not sure who enjoyed them more.

Family outing to catch our breath.

Our social worker Joy's engagement ceremony! 

The tables were hot!
Before us all are two paths, two ways, two choices every day.

We can chose the way of the plateau---the familiar, flat ground, where we will look more impressive to the people around us because we aren't really struggling, we aren't wrestling through change.  

"How unstable those people struggling up the steep mountain look!  
They wrestle, and struggle, they doubt and fall."

  But they shall behold great things!

Or you can choose the mountain.  Keep striving, keep changing, keep growing.  


A window into the world of Thailand

Library getting some good use!


Men's group BBQ with some very questionable hamburgers...
Enough theory.  

How does this work out in our lives?

1.  Don't be afraid to change

The temptation towards putting confidence in familiar tradition is strong, especially in those of us who are religious.  Change is fearful.  Change feels dangerous.   But change is part of growth, and growth is impossible without it.  Don't be afraid to change your mind, your ideas, even your beliefs.  God is more pleased with an honest search for truth than a fearful clinging to tradition.   

2.  Believe in love, but not flattery

Know yourself and don't lie to yourself.  If lots of people heap up praise on you often, find someone who can speak the truth to you.  Someone who loves you, but isn't impressed with you.  

3.  Focus on the Unseen

You are more than your accomplishments or failures.  Focus on who that inner person is and who he or she is becoming.  Take an honest look at your own heart.  

4.  Attempt things you don't think you can do

Not just for the accomplishment, but for the growth that comes through struggle, doubt, and learning to rely on something outside of yourself.  

Look at  this great quote from Henry Blackaby:

“Will God ever ask you to do something you are not able to do? The answer is yes--all the time! It must be that way, for God's glory and kingdom. If we function according to our ability alone, we get the glory; if we function according to the power of the Spirit within us, God gets the glory. He wants to reveal Himself to a watching world.”

Let us be the change we wish to see.  

It is a life long endeavor.  

Let us not merely tell people great things, but show them great things.  

Don't give in to the subtle pride of functioning according to your own ability, according to your own plans and purposes, but choose the mountain, and learn to function amidst the struggle of growth according to God's power at work in you.  

Struggling upward with you, 

Matt, Audrey, & Ezra



Movie time!

Carpentry for out home!

Book of the century makes it to Faithful Heart Library in Thai!














1:26 AM No comments
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Faithful Heart Foundation
Chiang Mai, Thailand

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