"I Want the Poop Bag"

by Matt pound - 9:17 PM

Loi Gratong Festival

Greetings from Thailand, and Happy Thanksgiving!

For Thai people, we are entering the season of down jackets and gloves. For me, it is the happy season of less sweating, and deliciously cool mornings. As we approach 3 years living in Thailand, we feel overwhelmed with gratitude and wonder. There are two things I am supremely grateful for at this point in my life:

1. I did not have my own way, or get what I wanted, (but something far better!)
2. We gain through losing

Lanterns at night with Tiida to celebrate her birthday!

Solomon was baptized this past Sunday at the Chinese Church in Chiang Mai. We are proud of this young man!

These young builders are learning to make wardrobes for themselves

As some of you with children may have surmised, the unusual title for my post comes from interaction with my son, Ezra.

This morning, as I was offering him a tasty and nutritious bowl of oatmeal, he spotted out of the corner of his eye a bright orange plastic bag tied with a bow. He was no longer at all interested in the oatmeal and was filled with an uncontrollable longing to have whatever wonderful treasures were held in that enchanting bag.

Having a bit more knowledge of the situation, I tried to tell him that he did not want that bag. As his father, I loved to give him good gifts and see him happy. He could trust me when I said that bag was not something that would give him any real, or satisfying pleasure.

Oh, but he did want that bag! He really, really, did! If only Dad could understand just how badly, how desperately, he wanted, and needed that bag!

I tried to explain it to him. I looked him in the eyes, and held the bag aloft saying, "Ewwww, yuckie," but he would not believe me. Finally, I told him frankly, 'Ezra, that bag is your poopy diaper we changed earlier. You don't want that."

Nathan brings a lot of fun to the college dorm. What else do you do with a huge fruit peel? Make a hat!

The complex art of Christmas Card design

The girls seemed to take more readily than the boys to this craft process

But Ezra was distrustful. Hadn't their been times when he had something delicious of fun, like dirt or broken glass, and Dad had taken it away from him? Perhaps Dad was once again withholding some good from him. So Ezra began to try every thing he could think of to persuade Dad to give him the bag.

Perhaps Dad was simply greedy and didn't want to share his good things with his son. So Ezra began to look with sad eyes at Dad and whimper. You never saw a baby look so pitiful.

But Dad continued to say no.

Perhaps Dad was a strict aesthetic and was opposed to fun and joy and laughter and play. So Ezra, looked very somber and tried to express his desire to use the bag for a good and noble purpose. If only Dad would give it to him, he would see the good use he would make of it. It was not really for Ezra at all, but for the general welfare.

Still, Dad was unmoved by his bargaining, and would not give him the bag.

Perhaps Dad was simply uncaring and unloving. Maybe Dad didn't even really want Ezra to be happy. Maybe Dad was simply taking care of Ezra so that one day Ezra would take care of Dad. Maybe Dad was using Ezra for his own happiness, instead of loving Ezra to make him happy.

So Ezra tried to distract Dad by pointing to something just over Dad's shoulder and when Dad looked, he tried to snatch the bag for himself.

But Dad intervened and pushed the bag out of his reach.

Ezra began to wail in agony and misery. What a cruel, uncaring Dad he had, who would not give him what he wanted! Was it not a natural desire to want such a pretty bag? What could be wrong with such a natural desire? What a bad Dad to deny such a desire!

With such a cruel Dad, Ezra may even have begun to hope there was no such thing as a big, bad Dad. Maybe the problem was that Ezra had to just settle himself down and work hard, and wait for his opportunity to seize the bag for himself. Maybe life was simply a game you played and you were either good at it, or not. Maybe it was about making things happen for yourself and getting what you could for yourself.

So Ezra turned away from his Dad and went out to the living room to play on his own. From now on, he would do things on his own.

However, once the boys understood they jumped right in!

Celebrating a good man and a father to many.

Dave's Birthday Buffet! I like this tradition!

But soon Ezra began to be hungry and wondered why his Dad had not fed him much breakfast.

The old suspicion of a greedy Dad who didn't like to share came back into his little mind.

His bottom was beginning to hurt because his diaper needed changing, but his Dad had not come to change it.

The old suspicion that Dad wanted Ezra to be uncomfortable and unhappy crept back into his thoughts.

Hungry and uncomfortable, he thought again that perhaps after all Dad really was uncaring and did not really love him.

Saddened, but resolved to no longer feel sorry and sad, Ezra set out to achieve his own goals, by his own strength. Tentatively looking around, he did not see his Dad, but there was the brilliant orange bag just at the edge of the table! With tremendous effort, he at last succeeded in grabbing the bag.

What joy, what rapture was his! He had the glorious bag! And he didn't even need Dad after all! From now on, he would form his own desires and fulfill them himself! How great would his happiness be! He didn't need Dad or his rules.

Ezra gloried in his bag, and his achievement! He shook it and dragged it around the living room in a sort of victory lap. He stared at it in admiration and began to dream of all the wonderful things he planned to do with the bag. He thought of the years of happiness it would bring him and the security he felt in possessing it as his very own.

But soon his joy began to fade. The bag already seemed a bit boring. And there was a funny, unpleasant smell that lingered about it.

Fearing the creeping dissatisfaction coming upon him, Ezra once again began to march around the living room in grim determination to hold on to those initial feelings of ecstasy.

Tiida's favorite dinner--the fish restaurant!

Beautiful night views!

Ez loves his grandma!

Then he saw his Dad watching him.

Fear swept over him. Had Dad come to take away his bag, his joy?

He seized the bag with both hands and turned to run away.

But his Dad remained where he was.

Good. Maybe Dad realized that he couldn't ruin Ezra's happiness any more, that Ezra was a baby who could take care of himself. A baby wise to his cruel Dad's schemes, who could make his own way in the world.

It was almost as if the joy in the bag had been rekindled by the threat of its loss. Once again Ezra reveled in his possession and his accomplishment.

But again, it soon began to fade. He began to look at other bags, and wonder if maybe he had gotten the raw deal. Maybe other babies had all the good bags and his was somehow not as good as theirs. What he needed was a new bag! He had the wrong bag!

Suddenly, Dad came over. Fear swept his small body. But Dad made no effort to take his bag. He simply bent down and said:

"Ezra, your Daddy loves you so much. How would you like a fresh diaper, some lunch, and a special toy?"

Ezra faced a crisis. He was quite hungry and his diaper was very uncomfortable, and a new toy sounded very good, but his Dad's hands were empty. And he remembered the earlier denial of his cherished bag. He stood frozen in uncertainty.

Progress!

Almost there...

The prototype $37 wardrobe, strong and attractive

The challenge of durability and cost effectiveness

He looked again at his bag. Now that he saw it, it looked more like a plain old plastic trash bag. Now that he thought about, it did smell like a poopy diaper. Perhaps his Dad had been telling the truth.

Perhaps his Dad was not really greedy after all. He could vaguely remember his Dad giving him lots of nice things happily.

Perhaps his Dad was not against fun and laughter and happiness after all. He could just now recall some memories of Dad laughing and playing with him.

Perhaps his Dad really wanted Ezra to be happy. Ezra almost remembered times when Dad seemed most happy because Ezra was happy.

Perhaps Dad was real after all, and really did love him.

With a slight pain of loss, Ezra let the poop bag drop to the floor. It was hard to let it go of his desire after working so hard to achieve it. But looking at his Dad, he saw love in his eyes. And realizing that he really could never live on his own, and that he would never want to, he held up his small arms and let his Daddy pick him up and give him better things.

No matter where you are, or who you are, you have a Father who loves you. No matter what you believe, or what you want, you have a Dad who wants to give you the very best. Perhaps the best news the world has ever received is that the most powerful Being in the Universe is also the most loving. That the God who made all things and all people, is the person Jesus.

Let the "poop bags" go, and let your Father give you His very best!

Happy Thanksgiving from Matt, Audrey, and Ezra!

PS: Special Post coming soon about the land project!!!