I Want to Be a Good Man
Greetings from
Thailand!
 |
| Ashley on the hog! |
 |
| New (old) friends moving to Chiang Mai---Love them already! |
 |
| One of our new little boys proudly writing his name |
A few quick
Updates:
1. My Dad has come
through his procedure successfully but his recovery has been longer and more difficult than we expected. Thank
you for your kind words and prayers.
2. We are relieved two of our girls are safely back home and would
ask you to continue to pray for them. Their young lives are full of
changes and transitions like every adolescent, and a few extras most kids don't
have to deal with.
3. We are so
excited to have Ashley Nirmalnath in Chiang Mai!
4. I preached last Sunday at our international
church! It is a pretty special experience seeing Americans, Filipinos,
Chinese, Korean, Italians, Scottish, British, Germans, and Singaporeans meeting
together to learn how to be apprentices of Jesus in whatever walk of life they
find themselves.
You can listen here:
 |
| The newest member of the Faithful Heart Family--meet Taxi! |
 |
| When Ashley's team leads our Thai small group in an African worship song |
 |
| Games and fun! |
Thoughts on
life right now, right here:
One of the sobering side effects of presuming to tell other people
how they might live better lives, is you cannot help but to take a good hard look at your own.
One of the most important aspects of your life, is whether you
intend to become better than you are now (or not).
I recently finished reading a book on what makes a meaningful,
joyful life by a man who died over 100 years ago. He said:
there is only one person whom
you ought to be in ruthless competition with your whole life: yourself.
 |
| Cell Group hearing stories from Ashley & her team |
 |
| Relay races |
 |
| Playing water in the hot season |
Life is like an unjust track
race.
We all start at completely
different points,
with completely different training, ability, and equipment.
That is why it is utter
nonsense to look at the person or people next to you, to see how you are doing
in your own growth. It is progress that is essential, and progress can only
be accurately determined by looking at where we each came from and how far we
have come---not in relation to the person next to you, but the person you were
before and the person you are now, and the person you will be tomorrow.
(Otherwise, you might be a scoundrel surrounded by only slightly
worse scoundrels, and therefore feel pretty good about yourself in-spite of
yourself).
We need to lose our ambition:
to be better than others.
And gain aspiration: to become
the best version of ourselves we possibly can.
 |
| 3 boys at Home of Light--Taxi (left) is fitting right in |
 |
| Ashley jumping right in! |
 |
| Laura splish splashing! |
I think for most of my life I
have got this wrong.
When I said I wanted to be a good man,
what I meant
was I wanted to feel that I was better than most people.
(A very different sort
of desire)
This is usually
the process:
1. I hear or see something that inspires me
to be a better person (good thing)
2. I think about how I might go about
accomplishing my goal and form a plan (also good)
3. I begin to attempt my new resolutions (very good)
4. I quickly find it incredibly hard and
resent the extra effort I am making that others are not (not good)
5. I start to feel proud of my efforts and
set myself up to critique and criticize others who are not so enlightened (bad)
6. Now my focus has shifted from being
better, to convincing myself and others that I already am better. (very bad)
 |
| Taxi puttin' the moves on Matt |
 |
| Our fun crew for the day! (Silly faces) |
 |
| Marco, Polo! |
What a difficult thing it is to
be good!
Just think about it.
The reason we love to talk about the
faults of others and their mistakes
is because it gives us a feeling of
superiority.
Like a coach overseeing
the team on the field.
The only problem is none of us is only a coach.
We are all in the game of life
and what counts is not our assessment
of the performance of others,
but our own performance.
How much easier to be a critic, to pass off clever and even
correct theories of how people ought to be or live; than to be and live
yourself!
It may be this very reason
why so many of us who are religious can so easily become arrogant with so little basis for being so. Spending time thinking and
exploring ideas of how we might become a better man or woman, is not the same
as actually employing those ideas to change ourselves day after day after day.
Ways we get it wrong: Q&A
Q: Am I a better person because I go to
church or study the Bible?
A: No, that may give you opportunity to become
better, but you, and you only, must make use of it. Many people have used religion and even the Bible to
justify doing great evil.
Q: Am I a better person if I care about
social justice, and important political and moral issues?
A: No. It
is only by acting on those concerns that anything tangible occurs. And not just any action, but only the doing
of good.
Contrary to popular thinking,
evil means never accomplish good ends.
Q: Am I a better person because I don’t do
the same bad things other people do?
A: No. The absence of some particular evil in you
does not
guarantee the presence of good.
In reality,
we have probably all grossly underestimated the effect our own wrongness has
hurt the people around us.
So what is the answer?
If I knew the answer fully, I might be a much better man than I
am.
 |
| Pring & Harmony are new friends |
But in my first
steps towards becoming such a man, I have a few suggestions.
1. Shatter the false image you have of
yourself.
If you are
anything like me, and most the people I have met, you have an idea in your head
of the kind of person you think you are.
And it is probably completely absurd and ridiculous.
Be brave and ask someone who is close to you to help you see yourself a little more accurately (probably a spouse or family member, or bold friend---certainly not someone who would be afraid to tell you straight).
And it is probably completely absurd and ridiculous.
Be brave and ask someone who is close to you to help you see yourself a little more accurately (probably a spouse or family member, or bold friend---certainly not someone who would be afraid to tell you straight).
If you have done this, you are
probably feeling depressed not that you have seen the not-so-nice person you really
are. That’s ok.
2. Remind yourself that God and others have
seen you like this for a long time and they still love you.
Whatever you
do, don’t put that old mask back on.
Your courage may inspire and help others.
Your courage may inspire and help others.
3. Practice saying I was wrong and I am sorry
every chance you get.
And if you
are truly bold, ask how you might be able to right the wrongs you have
done.
4. Find something concrete you can start
doing right now that actually is good.
Sponsor a
child in need (hint, hint), be a foster parent, be a mentor, serve at a local
homeless center, visit lonely people in a nursing home.
Anything!
But do something tangible to invest in the lives of others right now and schedule it not just once, but as an ongoing commitment.
Anything!
But do something tangible to invest in the lives of others right now and schedule it not just once, but as an ongoing commitment.
5. Never forget how late you started and how
far you have to go.
Whatever
happens, don’t allow yourself any smugness.
Or you will be right back where you started (go back to step 1).
The only person you are competing against is you.
The only measure is Jesus---perfect love, justice, and goodness.
Or you will be right back where you started (go back to step 1).
The only person you are competing against is you.
The only measure is Jesus---perfect love, justice, and goodness.
Harmony bringing the beat!
 |
| Benjamin and Peter rocking out. |
It is a long, difficult, and delightful journey.
It is the real journey of life, and the journey to joy.
George MacDonald said God would have men and women be holy (good,
pure, right)
because He wants them to be happy;
and He knows there is no other
way to be completely, utterly, unchangeably happy
than to become completely, utterly, unchangably, good.
Here is a test of what you really believe.
How much energy do you spend trying to be happy?
How much of that energy is spent trying to become a better person?
Do you really believe that the majority of unhappiness in your life
is due to a lack of goodness in you?
In my life, I am often chasing something (if only I had this...)
or some achievement (if only I can accomplish this goal...)
or blaming someone else (if only they would stop doing this...)
But God is quietly whispering the truth:
All who seek happiness apart from goodness will end up missing both.
But all who seek goodness will find both.
But God is ready to help every person, no matter who they may be, who begins to take even the smallest step
in that direction.
And we can help each
other along the way.
Let’s walk together.
In Love,
Matt, Audrey, and ‘fuzzy’ Ez
 |
| Amy in the lost lagoon |
 |
| A boy and his Dad |
1 comments
Thank you, thank you. You have helped give me insight to help me plow up the hard crust of my soul so that seeds of goodness might take root and grow. I especially appreciate your comments on the importance of not comparing myself with others. - David Miller
ReplyDelete