There Is No Growth Without Change
 |
| Learning from our local neighbors how to practice sustainable agriculture! |
 |
| Raising frogs for food sounded strange at first, but after eating them for lunch I understand---Delicious! |
 |
| Fun Saturday with friends |
 |
| No words... |
Greetings from Thailand!
As we begin a new year, and the start of our 5th year in Thailand, we face more changes in this coming year than any since we first uprooted our lives in Colorado and made our new home in Chiang Mai.
Change makes me uncomfortable.
On the one hand, it is exciting. It brings new and unexpected things.
If nothing else, it means that the same old routine will be broken.
But what makes me uncomfortable, and I assume many of us, is that we don't know if that change will be for the better or for the worse.
And fear of the unknown is very strong.
Even if our circumstances are far from what we would like, at least they are familiar, and the enemy I know is always less frightening than the one I don't.
But what has become more clear for me recently is that there is no growth without change.
 |
| Joshua and I working on Ezra's new bed. |
 |
| Ezra's best friend at Thai church. |
 |
| New shirts for our dorm boys! |
 |
| Benjamin sanding like a pro! |
I am trying to embrace that idea.
In the past I have viewed change like going to the dentist, something to be avoided whenever possible (no offense to my father-in-law or sister-in-law, who are both excellent dentists).
But part of living at peace with yourself and your world, is learning to embrace change.
This is a painfully revealing point for those of us who consider ourselves religious:
Isn't part of believing in a good God, believing that any change He brings into our lives is not something to be feared but welcomed?
But though I believe in a good God, I find I receive change poorly.
And it is my relationships with my Thai neighbors which are helping me learn better.
 |
| New plans for the land are taking shape, we hope to do some planting and clearing soon! |
 |
| This is my kind of coffee shop. |
 |
| Girls in Samoeng were happy with new dresses! |
 |
| Ice Skating with the girls! |
One of my favorite descriptions of aid-work comes from a book called: "In Pursuit of Orphan Excellence." (I highly recommend it for anyone who is interested in children).
It comes from a Ugandan man, who gently corrects his friend, an American man:
"The job is not the greatest reason you are here. The relationship is."
I love that and I love experiencing that here in Thailand (as well as with many of you in America).
We are journeying together. All with something to offer, all with gifts and talents and insights to help each other become the best versions of ourselves---the ones God intended and the ones our world desperately needs.
As I build relationships with my Thai friends, they help me learn to not resist change, but receive it gracefully.
And I help my Thai friends learn not to be fatalistic, but embrace the power they have to direct their own lives.
In a relationship we both grow and find a better way to live: together.
One of the best ways to hinder your own growth is to avoid relationships with people who are different from you.
But for both our Thai friends and for us, if we want that better life, we have to be willing to change.
And not just once in a while.
It is a constant, on-going process of change.
And to the extent that we can embrace that change, we will grow.
And to the extent we resist that change (and hold tightly to the familiar) we will hinder our own growth.
This seems to grow more difficult with age.
Young children are changing every day. For them, the world is ever changing.
But the older we get, the more we come to resent the constant change and if we are not careful, we may even begin to regard change as a negative thing and stubbornness as a positive thing.
We have special words we use for our stubbornness.
We may call our resistance to change "consistency" or "faithfulness."
Last January, I made a resolution to work out more regularly.
I could see that exercise was good for me in many ways. I had more energy, I was less frustrated, I felt better, etc.
And I have kept that resolution.
But suddenly it dawned on me that a discipline which can help us grow, might very easily become a habit that hinders our growth.
All things in our lives must be servants, not masters.
I have other responsibilities, which are far more important than my habit of working out.
Is my wife happy?
Did I spend quality time with my children?
Are the dishes done?
Is there someone who needs my help or time?
If I kept my resolution to work out at the expense of the well being of my family, there is no doubt I am disciplined but there is much doubt if I am good.
So I learn discipline and I keep embracing change.
Don't run from it, don't avoid it, don't try to get your own way and force others to change.
Receive it.
There is a higher virtue than self-discipline, it is surrender.
We give ourselves up to others and hence, to God.
As a follower of Jesus, I have the tremendous help of believing that all the change that comes my way is meant to help me grow better and happier.
(This is what God is always up to in the world--in your life too)
Easy to say, not so easy to practice.
We constantly crave certainty.
In college, that craving led me into all sorts of messes.
It was so attractive to have solid, unchanging answers, to be right.
(Mainly because it meant I didn't need to do the hard work of continually changing myself. I could demand others change, while remaining unchanged myself.)
Sadly, this is what many religions provide---a way to 'be right' without having to do what is right.
What a true religion ought to provide is the help to become better than you are.
And for that, we need more than self-control or self-discipline.
My favorite author, George MacDonald, describes this process something like this:
That might sound a little scary and it is.
But if you have ever had a day when you did everything you wanted to do and still weren't completely happy, I think you can begin to see what he means.
When unexpected or unwelcome change comes into our lives, it reveals a truth:
None of us has perfect control of our selves or our lives.
And if our happiness depends upon everything going our way, we will never be happy long.
The answer Jesus gives to this dilemma is simple but hard to practice:
Receive the change as a good thing, don't worry, don't be anxious, don't be afraid.
Surrender yourself, your desires, your preferences to those of others.
Don't be a Master, even of yourself, become a servant and let God be the Master.
One clarification:
Embracing change does not mean taking a passive role in your own life (this is where I can return the favor and help my Thai friends).
If a change comes that we believe is not for our good, our neighbor's good, and the general welfare, we have not only the right, but the responsibility to object.
People like Martin Luther King Jr. are good examples of this.
King said that the "moral arc of the universe is long, but it bends towards justice."
In the present, we must be workers for the good of our world, to bend towards justice.
But we also must recognize how limited is our view, our ability, and our wisdom.
So while we must work for a certain kind of change and resist other kinds of change, we must also ensure we are not resisting change itself.
In my experience in Thailand, I see that sometimes what is more important than what I do, is how I am changing.
There is no growth without change.
And growth can be painful.
But the fruit of growth is delightful.
Some of you have sent us notes to let us know how you are learning some of these very same things, and that is a huge encouragement.
We are journeying together and like many of you, we make progress and fall back.
We are creatures who change slowly.
As we begin a new year, lets embrace the new changes it will bring.
Resist the temptation to cling to what is familiar and known.
Resist the fear that says uncertainty is dangerous.
Embrace the God who is working to make all things right and good in our world, and the unique work He has given you to do in it.
Most of all embrace the relationships God has brought into your life.
Your friends, neighbors, and family in Thailand,
Matt, Audrey, Ezra, & Sienna
It comes from a Ugandan man, who gently corrects his friend, an American man:
"The job is not the greatest reason you are here. The relationship is."
I love that and I love experiencing that here in Thailand (as well as with many of you in America).
We are journeying together. All with something to offer, all with gifts and talents and insights to help each other become the best versions of ourselves---the ones God intended and the ones our world desperately needs.
As I build relationships with my Thai friends, they help me learn to not resist change, but receive it gracefully.
And I help my Thai friends learn not to be fatalistic, but embrace the power they have to direct their own lives.
In a relationship we both grow and find a better way to live: together.
One of the best ways to hinder your own growth is to avoid relationships with people who are different from you.
 |
| Ez got a new bike and a new do-rag for Christmas and he is very excited! |
 |
| Family in town! Airport trip at 5am to head to the beach. |
 |
| Soccer! |
But for both our Thai friends and for us, if we want that better life, we have to be willing to change.
And not just once in a while.
It is a constant, on-going process of change.
And to the extent that we can embrace that change, we will grow.
And to the extent we resist that change (and hold tightly to the familiar) we will hinder our own growth.
This seems to grow more difficult with age.
Young children are changing every day. For them, the world is ever changing.
But the older we get, the more we come to resent the constant change and if we are not careful, we may even begin to regard change as a negative thing and stubbornness as a positive thing.
We have special words we use for our stubbornness.
We may call our resistance to change "consistency" or "faithfulness."
Last January, I made a resolution to work out more regularly.
I could see that exercise was good for me in many ways. I had more energy, I was less frustrated, I felt better, etc.
And I have kept that resolution.
But suddenly it dawned on me that a discipline which can help us grow, might very easily become a habit that hinders our growth.
All things in our lives must be servants, not masters.
 |
| Family time at the beach was wonderful! |
 |
| Evie was a great helper and friend to Ezra! Cousin love! |
 |
| Que the Jurassic Park theme song... |
Is my wife happy?
Did I spend quality time with my children?
Are the dishes done?
Is there someone who needs my help or time?
If I kept my resolution to work out at the expense of the well being of my family, there is no doubt I am disciplined but there is much doubt if I am good.
So I learn discipline and I keep embracing change.
Don't run from it, don't avoid it, don't try to get your own way and force others to change.
Receive it.
There is a higher virtue than self-discipline, it is surrender.
We give ourselves up to others and hence, to God.
As a follower of Jesus, I have the tremendous help of believing that all the change that comes my way is meant to help me grow better and happier.
(This is what God is always up to in the world--in your life too)
Easy to say, not so easy to practice.
We constantly crave certainty.
In college, that craving led me into all sorts of messes.
It was so attractive to have solid, unchanging answers, to be right.
(Mainly because it meant I didn't need to do the hard work of continually changing myself. I could demand others change, while remaining unchanged myself.)
Sadly, this is what many religions provide---a way to 'be right' without having to do what is right.
What a true religion ought to provide is the help to become better than you are.
And for that, we need more than self-control or self-discipline.
 |
| Ultimate Frisbee never gets old |
 |
| Grandma in her happy place! |
 |
| Sienna contemplating the mystery of the floating toys. |
My favorite author, George MacDonald, describes this process something like this:
"Self control is not the goal.
We must first learn self control so that we can one day handle over all control to Another.
Perfect self-control may exist and a man be in hell.
Heaven is not where we have perfect control of ourselves, but where God has perfect control of us."
That might sound a little scary and it is.
But if you have ever had a day when you did everything you wanted to do and still weren't completely happy, I think you can begin to see what he means.
When unexpected or unwelcome change comes into our lives, it reveals a truth:
None of us has perfect control of our selves or our lives.
And if our happiness depends upon everything going our way, we will never be happy long.
The answer Jesus gives to this dilemma is simple but hard to practice:
Receive the change as a good thing, don't worry, don't be anxious, don't be afraid.
Surrender yourself, your desires, your preferences to those of others.
Don't be a Master, even of yourself, become a servant and let God be the Master.
 |
| Rice Harvest |
 |
| The Boys at Home of Comfort are all well trained in growing and harvesting rice. |
 |
| Papa and Nana at the carnival. What could be better? |
One clarification:
Embracing change does not mean taking a passive role in your own life (this is where I can return the favor and help my Thai friends).
If a change comes that we believe is not for our good, our neighbor's good, and the general welfare, we have not only the right, but the responsibility to object.
People like Martin Luther King Jr. are good examples of this.
King said that the "moral arc of the universe is long, but it bends towards justice."
In the present, we must be workers for the good of our world, to bend towards justice.
But we also must recognize how limited is our view, our ability, and our wisdom.
So while we must work for a certain kind of change and resist other kinds of change, we must also ensure we are not resisting change itself.
In my experience in Thailand, I see that sometimes what is more important than what I do, is how I am changing.
There is no growth without change.
And growth can be painful.
But the fruit of growth is delightful.
 |
| Night Market! |
 |
| Krabi beauty! |
 |
| Not a bad view during breakfast |
 |
| Buddies |
Some of you have sent us notes to let us know how you are learning some of these very same things, and that is a huge encouragement.
We are journeying together and like many of you, we make progress and fall back.
We are creatures who change slowly.
As we begin a new year, lets embrace the new changes it will bring.
Resist the temptation to cling to what is familiar and known.
Resist the fear that says uncertainty is dangerous.
Embrace the God who is working to make all things right and good in our world, and the unique work He has given you to do in it.
Most of all embrace the relationships God has brought into your life.
Your friends, neighbors, and family in Thailand,
Matt, Audrey, Ezra, & Sienna
 |
| Maybe some things don't change :-) |
 |
| My apprentice :-) |
 |
| View from the top! |
 |
| The "hike" was more of a crawl |
0 comments