Fun in the Sun!

Food Distribution in San Sai

Bus to the Beach!

Greetings from Thailand!

Wow, life has been full and a little crazy the past few months.  

Welcome to Part 3 of Building a Better Life---Do what you need to do, until you can do what you want to!  

We started this journey by observing that:

New things can't get in closed doors. 

We need to have a posture of openness, and willingness to learn.  
Until then, we can't make any real progress or changes at all.

By cultivating gratitude in our lives, we identified what to keep and what to leave behind as we moved forward.  

Once we knew what we wanted and what we didn't want, we could begin to formulate goals for our life.  
And goals are vital for our life, because it is hard to get anywhere if you don't know where you are going. 

Those first two steps were chiefly a matter of changing the way you think.  

But once you form real goals, you have to take real steps to reach them.  
Or nothing will really change. 

Great having Tommy visit!

Wedding Fun

We love the Singsathit Family!

Now we know things should change, but how do you make them actually change?

The most tried and true method isn't a popular or pleasant one:

Slow, hard, consistent work. 

I'm afraid there is no alternative here. 
In my own experience this meant somewhere between 6-8 years of work I didn't like very much.  

It meant the loss of many good things I enjoyed.
It meant missing out on many of the things my friends were doing.  

Why?  

Because another name for a goal is a priority.
Having priorities means that some things become more important than other things.  

What is important in my life?   
What is more important? 
What is most important?
Now act accordingly.

Priorities are by definition, exclusive. 
We decide what matters most to us, and what we are willing to sacrifice to get what we most want. 

It is hard to sacrifice the present pleasures for an uncertain future. 
But it is essential to a good, well-lived life. 
Hard is the path to good (and happy).  

Delayed gratification means we put off something good in the present, for something better in the future.  

So proud of our friend Bob, after a 3 year job in Japan

We had some terrible flooding in Chiang Mai

We rescued our friends (sort of) via Kayak

For every good life I know of, there is no escaping hardship. 
But you can choose your hard. 

It is hard to exercise. 
But it is also hard to be obese and face the health issues that come with it.  

It is hard to learn new skills. 
But it is also hard to work a dead end job forever.  

It is hard to give up pleasures in the present.
But it is also hard to give up your goals for the future.  

Choose your hard.  

Because life is hard. 
There is no getting around that without diminishing your humanity or someone else's.

Life can also be incredibly good, fulfilling, purposeful, and free. 
Hard work is not antithetical to happiness. 
But having no control over your time or freedom very well may be.   

So choose the hard that will lead you to better.  

Girls relaxing at the beach

Island hopping with the crew

The sea did us all good

You do what you need to do, until you can do what you want to do.  

You put your head down and work until you get into a position where you are not engaging in life like a form of prostitution; where we sell our bodies or our time in exchange for money.  

We don't want to be enslaved by our employers, our debts, or our desires.  

Where we don't support enterprises we don't believe in, just because we need to earn a living.  

Where we don't need to escape from our lives because we believe in and enjoy the work we do as a vital part of life, our own creative act of service and contribution to the betterment of the world.  

That is where we are going, but we aren't there yet.  

How do we get started?

Alternative Care Thailand Advance 2022

Boys

Joy

Step 1: Identify What Matters Most
(and compare it with the tried and true wisdom of time---the teachings of Jesus, when practiced, are revolutionary)

You can't have it all now (not yet, not your way.  Be patient, this comes gradually)

So focus on your big picture goals.
What is most important to you over the course of your life?

Ask yourself lots of good questions. 

How can I meet my responsibilities and enjoy what I do?
What needs to change in my circumstances?
What needs to change in my attitude?
What needs to change in my habits?  

Remember work is not something we are seeking to avoid, but to transform until our work is both beneficial and enjoyable.  

What we need to discover is how your work can fit best with the wellbeing of others and yourself.   

It may be more money. 
But it also may be more quality time, and less money.

It may be more education for a better career.
It may be a lesser career for more personal satisfaction.  

It may be 5 hard years for 30 good years.  

Change doesn't happen overnight.  

What is one change you can make now, to get you on the path towards what matters most?

Fashion is important

Kayak adventures

My crew!

It's ultimately your life, so don't let someone else try to force you to live their version of your life.  
But if you can stay open and listen to advice, you can avoid some painful mistakes and wasted years.   

The first step is often the hardest.  
Progress, not perfection.
You can't get anywhere until you get started.  

Love this group!

Love this nugget too!

Love our Thai Church!

Step 2: Grind and Gather

In 2008, I was sort-of homeless, without a vehicle, or much money. 
I did have a college degree, a strong healthy body, and a reasonably large network of friends and connections.  

I had some vague ideas of what was most important to me. 
It was time to make some major changes to the life I had been living the last several years.

There are probably many paths I might have pursued.  
Every life is different.  

I am not sure anyone can tell you your own path. 
That is something we each have to discover for ourselves.  

Get advice, listen to it, but at the end of the day, it's your life. 
The decisions good or bad, are on you.  

To get to where I was dreaming of being, I needed some money, and to get money, I needed a job. 
I also needed a place to live, and eventually a car.  

So I called a friend and he let me live with him for a few months. 
I called my old boss at a fence company and asked if I could come work and earn some money. 
He said they needed help and I was welcome the next day. 

My friend's house was close enough to walk to work.
So I walked.  

After a few months I had enough to buy an old pickup.   

I spent the next 6 years in a variety of blue collar jobs, in a variety of places. 
Not exactly my ideal job, or my ideal life. 

It was hard, heavy work.
My back ached.
My heart ached.    

For many reasons, this was one of the hardest seasons of my life.  

There is no other word for it but grind. 
It was grinding work, and it ground me down.   
But it was endurable because I chose it. 

I was moving toward my goals. 

I didn't know how yet, but I was sacrificing those years to build a life I wanted to live.

And you know what? 
It wasn't all bad. 

Those years ground down my pride, but they build up my character. 
Those years taught me to respect everyone who does honest work well.  They taught me that a simple life could still be a good life.      

We saved money like crazy, grinding and gathering.   
If we wanted more freedom, we couldn't live paycheck to paycheck forever.   

Work crew is top notch

Finding a balanced life together

I promise we work sometimes too, those pictures aren't as fun :-)

Step 3:  Take Risks & Keep Moving

Grinding is a means, not an end.  

There will come a point when even grinding can become a tempting place to stay, especially if it is lucrative.  

Remember what is most important.   
Keep aiming for that.
Keep moving.  

There will be risks on the way.

There are times when you will have to take the risk in order to keep moving.  

Some might pay off.
Some might cost you.    

But don't get stuck along the way.  

Do what you need to do, but only until you can do what you want to do.  
But don't give up on what you want to do without a fight.

Be patient, not complacent.

Audrey and I saved more money than I had ever had in my life after those 6 years.  
It was time to find a way to invest it, that would help us pursue the life we wanted.  

It was terrifying signing the mortgage on our first rental property, and putting all that hard earned money down as a downpayment.  

But it moved us forward.  

It was scary quitting our jobs in Denver to take a 6 month vision trip to India.
  
My boss offered me a raise if I would stay (I remember laughing and telling him going to work in the slums was not really a financial decision in the first place), and we were already making more money than we had ever made in our lives (before or since).  

I don't regret it for a minute.  

Less money yes, but to love your life and your work, to see others benefitting from your work, to have control over your schedule, to have more freedom, more joy, what are these worth?  

How much salary compensates you for the loss of joy and meaning?

There can be courage or cowardice in staying where you are. 

Courage if it a personal sacrifice is for the wellbeing of others. 
Cowardice if it is merely fear of change or risk.  

Even what started as responsibility, might gradually change into fear.  

Take the risk.  
Keep going.  

Halloween was fun!

We moved to a new house, and we had a great crew helping us

Our new home!

You Can Do This, But Not on Your Own

Building a better life is a long road.  

I have intentionally written these blogs to be accessible to anyone, even if you don't share my faith.  
I believe these ideas can help you no matter where you are. 

But I would be dishonest if I didn't explain that for me, everything in life has a spiritual dimension.  

I always pray about big decisions, I talk to God about everything happening in my life, and I believe He has guided and helped me every day of my life.  

Plus, I had a lot of great people in my corner, and not everyone is so fortunate.  

I never would have gotten here on my own.  

It feels like a lot of people helped me at just the right time, or an opportunity opened just when I needed it.  Or we just got lucky on timing.  

Faith is like a lens through which we view life. 
What could be chance, I choose to consider as loving help. 
And I believe that loving help is available to anyone, all the time.   

My own path wasn't always easy, but somehow there was always a way through.   

One of the byproducts of aspiration (aiming for big, good things in life) is humility.  

Would any of us really want to try to take credit for all the good in our lives?  

My Dad used to tell me it is always easier to steer a moving ship.  

We need to believe change is possible.  
Then we need to begin the journey.
We will all need help along the way.  

It is my settled belief that anyone who sets out to do anything good or worthwhile, will receive God's help, whether they believe in him or not.  

But fair warning, once you begin a journey like this you are very likely to become both happier and more humble.  

And it is difficult to be very happy and very humble, and not begin to wonder if, after all, there may not be something greater and better than us.  

Rock Paper Scissors

Audrey and Tommy had some beautiful views

Don't tell our moms...

What we do is crazy important. 
It has unimaginable consequences not only in our life, but down generations of lives.  

You can do this. 
For yourself.
For your family.
For your community.
For future generations yet to be born.  
For the good of our world.

Not on your own, but thankfully, none of us is truly on our own.  

Journeying with you, 

Matt, Audrey, Ezra, & Sienna  

One handsome little 6 yr. old

School bus

Fun night with friends