Greetings from Thailand!

And welcome to part 6 of our Building a Better Life series!  

Life by all appearances seems to be speeding up. 
Just as I note with surprise that it is October already, November pops up.  

It is a good reminder to be intentional about our own lives.  

It is so easy to feel swept along by a current we hardly recognize. 
Life moves quickly, with or without us. 
Days to weeks, weeks to months, and months to years pass with greater rapidity as we age.  

But it is never too late, and perhaps never too early, to start building a better life. 
In fact, one of the attributes of a good life is that it is always growing.  

I think this is part of the secret to any good life---continual improvement. 
We say things like "It is about the journey, not the destination" because we recognize that part of what makes life good is the search for better.  

I find that one of the most depressing feelings I experience is when I feel useless, bored, or without purpose. Conversely, one of the most encouraging feelings I experience is when I can see improvement in some area of my life---physical health, mental health, spiritual life, skill in my vocation, happier marriage, etc. 

Part of the reason we seek to build better lives is not because of an invisible scoreboard somewhere, but because the process itself is up lifting.  

Today, I want to talk about where we live. 

No, not our address or city, but the mental state we reside in.

This is especially challenging for me.  

Whenever there are 5 weeks in a month, our Thai Church has asked me to teach.  One of the things I have learned from doing this is that I seem to be most effective when I lead out of my own weakness.  That is, when I try to talk about something I struggle with.  

Hopefully that will apply here as well.  

Generally, I live in the future. 
I think ahead, I dream, I plan, I set goals.  

Sometimes, that is good; other times not so much.  

When I am hurt or discouraged, I often live in the past. 
I rehearse arguments I have had, I stew over hurtful words that were said to me or about me, I chew on bitterness.  

That is almost never good.  

Sometimes it is good to consider the past, to learn from our mistakes, to give thanks for all the good we have experienced, to remember that we have conquered obstacles before, and that we have some great people in our lives.  

And sometimes it is good to live in the future.  To set goals and plan for how to reach them, to set aside immediate gratification for future good.  

But the best place to be the majority of the time is right here, in this present moment, in this present place, with these present people.  

Why?

Well, because the Present is the only thing that is real.

The past was, but it no longer is.

All we have left of it now is our memories, which are highly subjective and unreliable.  If you have ever had a disagreement with your spouse, it probably left some strong impressions and feelings depending on your emotional and mental state at the time (and your spouse's) in addition to what was actually said or done.  

Over time, it becomes nearly impossible to reconstruct exactly what was said and how. 
Rehashing all the details rarely helps (though may, in some cases be necessary). 
Humility and forgiveness are our best aids in this process.  

The future is not real either (at least not our perception of it). 
Our view of the future is the may be, not the will be. 
It is, intentionally and probably for our good, unknown for us. 
We can guess, predict, hope, and plan, but we don't know what it will be.  

A prophet in his own right, Mike Tyson liked to say that everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.  

Sometimes life does punch us in the face. 
Sometimes all our best laid plans become instantly irrelevent in a moment when the unexpected comes.  Just ask anyone who has been diagnosed with cancer.  

So if we live too much in the future or the past, we end up living in a world that isn't real.  

No matter how bad reality might be, it is better to live in it, than try to ignore it. 

Because reality has a way of intruding whether we want it to or not.  

But there is a positive dimension too.  I am convinced the positive vastly outweighs the negative in most of our lives, if we can stay present and open to experience it.  

Eleanor Roosevelt sums it up well:

"Yesterday is history.  Tomorrow is a mystery.  Today is a gift, that is why we call it "the Present."

The greatest reason to live in the present is because it is full of gifts, and you can't enjoy those gifts if you are always wallowing in the past or pining for the future.  

Reflection and planning are both virtues we should practice. 
But neither is a good place to permanently dwell.  

Live where you are right now, in the place you are, in the community you are, with the people you are with.  

They are all gifts in their own way. 

Receive them, enjoy them, celebrate them, because they won't last forever.

Every generation laments spending so little time with their elderly family, but rarely does that change anything for the next generation.    

When asked for advice by a younger man, Dallas Willard answered:

"Ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life."

He doesn't say eliminate activity from your life, but hurry. 
There are very busy people who are never hurried.
Hurry is preoccupation with something other than the present moment.   

When we fail to enjoy the gifts of the present, it is likely we will fail to enjoy the gifts of the future.  

How do we live in the present and receive all its gifts?

Play with your children. 

Don't just sit with them, engage with them, create with them, invent, laugh, wrestle and adventure with them. 

Children are experts at living in the present, and they root us there too.  

Practice gratitude.  

Count your blessings, spend time with your friends and family, especially the old ones.  

Old people have perspective, they have wisdom, they are often compelled to slow down, to do less and think more.  

They help us realize that our worth and value are so much more than what we can do.  

At every point in my life, I found myself discontent with my life. 

There was always something else I wish I had, or somewhere else I wish I was.  

But when I walked around thinking about all I didn't have or the places I wasn't, I missed so many things and people I could have enjoyed where I was, with what I already had.  

But when I take a deep breath and look around me, I am astonished at the beauty and richness of life.  

Today I was driving my motorcycle, lost in thought on the way to work. 
Suddenly I looked up and noticed the clouds.  

Glorious is the only word for them.  

Massive, billowing masses of white water vapor hanging in the blue sky. 
All around me crazy people are oblivious, focused on their worries and responsibilities. 
A minute ago I was one of them. 
And all along the sky is putting on a stunning display of glory.  

Preoccupation blinds us to the beauty all around us.  

But gratitude leads us back to God. 

Someone once remarked that the hardest thing about being an atheist was not having anyone to thank.

Several nights ago we finished dinner with Skyler and Alicia and their kids. 
All the kids were rowdy and dinner was chaotic.  
The parents were strained and tired.  

We were preparing to leave when one of the kids requested dance music. 
Suddenly, the stress was gone, the floors were shaking and the windows rattling as we all danced and laughed to loud music.  

It was right there, and we almost missed it.  

Theologians tell us that God is present somehow in the past, the present, and the future.

But not us.

The only place we can be is right here where we are, and it is here, in the present, that we meet God.  

This blog series is all about change. 
If you truly are unhappy where you are, you may need to make a change and go somewhere else. 
But if you can find the good that is where you are, even if you leave, you will have gained.  

Maybe the present really is terrible.
Maybe it is understandable that you are desperate to escape.  

All the more reason to engage with it!
How can you escape what you will not see?
How can you change what you refuse to examine?

Denial has never improved anyone's life. 
Face everything and rise. 
But be here.  

Because life is here, reality is here, friends and family are here, God is here.  

Existence can be heavy. 
But if we can learn to live in hope, rather than fear or regret, it can also be beautiful, rich, rewarding, and wonderful.  

Trying to be present with you in this wild, wonderful world God has made,

Matt, Audrey, Ezra, and Sienna