Internet safety training at a local school

Two cute soccer stars

Staff meeting's newest and cutest member at Faithful Heart

Greetings from Thailand!

And welcome back to our series on building a better life. 
Today, we are looking at the stage of life where we spend the majority of our lives: the mundane middle.  

Yes, we tend to remember life mostly by the peaks and valleys, but it is the often the uneventful time in the middle where the most growth happens.  

For one, we can't live always on the highs, and we wouldn't want to always live in the lows.  

As a confessed adrenaline junkie, I love to go big, go fast, go fun. 
But it took me a while to realize I also really enjoy going quietly, simply, and peacefully.  

I like cliff jumping with friends and reading a book alone.  

Most of us are wired this way. 

We like the balance of adventure, work, and relaxation---though perhaps depending on our individual personalities, we may prefer different ratios of each.   

A large part of my purpose for this blog, is to figure out how to flourish and keep growing no matter what season of life we are in.  

Church hair team

Ez doing his dishes

Sienna's first day of school, Dad struggled

I want to enjoy every season of my life, and become a better person through every season of my life.  

And I want you to too.  

Since most of our lives are lived in the "mundane middle" it is worth taking time to consider how we can flourish in that season of life.  

I will turn 40 next year, and by most considerations, I am in the middle stage of my life. 

I've been paying bills and taxes for decades now.  (Yay adulting!)
I have a host of responsibilities and spend most of my waking hours working.  

Welcome to midlife! 

Khaki pants, white new balance tennis shoes, and excitement over a new mower.   

For most of us, the big adventures were in our teens and twenties. 
We looked to others like our parents for stability, so we could venture out into that unknown. 
Now, we are the stability for others so they can venture out.  

The mundane middle of life does not get a good rap, and perhaps it would make a boring movie. 
But that is no reason it has to be bad.  

The term midlife crisis came about because people couldn't discover how to flourish in the middle of life.  

In contrast to the many Peter Pan type stories, I do not believe childhood is or should be, the best part of your life.  

Yes, being a mature adult has its downsides (think bills, taxes, crappy jobs).  
But it is also amazing to be a healthy adult.  

New bookshelves were fun to make, bottom shelf has the best book

Giant inflatables are always a hit

More internet safety training

In the first part of our lives, we had very little part in our own formation. 

We were largely the result of the ideas and impacts of others.  

Only when we become adults, do we get to take a real role in forming ourselves, and choosing the kind of people we want to be, the kind of life we want to live.  

Some of the best growth comes in the middle of life.  
We aren't quite as stupid as we used to be, and we aren't yet quite as timid as we may one day be.  

We have experienced enough of life to not be novices any more.  

Part of our perception problem is that we often feel like we are compelled by circumstances to live a life we didn't choose, rather than one we have chosen for ourselves. 

This can lead many people to become cynical and bitter.  
No matter where we are in life, our goal ought to be to become better, not bitter.  

Mundane midlife is hard.  

We work because we need money to live. 
We give up hobbies because we have kids with hobbies. 
We pursue fewer adventures because we have less energy and free time.  

But that doesn't mean it can be a rich, fruitful, and enjoyable season of life.  

Ezra pondering the mysteries of life

Love these two!

Maybe a future meme

How can we flourish during the mundane middle of life?  

1.  Realize that joy does not depend on dopamine

The mundane parts of life force us to withdraw from our dependence on constant dopamine to experience happiness.  

There is an old saying that the practice of finding joy, finding contentment in the present moment is a form of sacrament (receiving good from God).  

But it takes practice to learn.  

Like most of you, the moment nothing is happening, I reach for my phone to see something happening somewhere.  

We need to be weaned off the need for constant dopamine.  
We all know friends who seem addicted to drama, and their lives are chaos.  

A beautiful sunset, a bonfire, mountains, the ocean---these still speak to us, reminding us that joy does require dopamine.    

If we can learn to be content, even joyful without constant external stimulus, we can learn to be happy more often with less. 
That is one of the secrets of a good life.  

2.  Learn to persevere

Some of the best things in life take work and time.  

Parenting isn't easy, but its the best thing in the world.

Marriage isn't easy, but it can be incredible to experience real intimacy and share your life with another person.  

For anything like that though, you have to learn to stick with stuff.  

If you walk away and quit every time its hard or you don't feel like doing the work, you will never enjoy the rewards.   

How we respond to life when it isn't going the way we want, determines whether we grow better or bitter. Perseverance is simple the ability to keep going.  

Perseverance is the difference between stuck, and en route to your goals.  
So long as we are moving through the middle of life, we are not stuck.

We love Jay and Pring

Grace International School crew

3.  Use the Quiet, Slower Pace to do Some Serious Thinking

Doing whatever you feel like, when you feel like it is not freedom, it's chaos.
  
Doing what you sometimes don't want to do, to reach the goals you really want is real freedom.  

The quieter middle of life allows to to reflect and think, not just react to life.  

It's the halftime break to think about what we have learned about life so far, what we want more of, and what we want less of in the future.  

I spent a lot of my life mopping floors, driving trucks, and thinking. 
Those long hours helped developed the thinking that led to many of the good things in my life now.  

It taught me not to react or decide based on how I feel in the moment, but to consider the whole of my life.   

When life is coming at you a million miles an hour, often the best we can manage is to simply react.  
But to live well, we need time to think.  

Take the mundane moments in the middle of your life to reflect on where you have been, what you have learned, and where you are heading.  

4.  Never stop learning

One of the miracles of books, is that they can take us to other worlds, without ever leaving our room. 

It is not so much about where we are, or even what is happening around us, but what is happening in us that maters.  

We don't always have much control over the first two, but we can do a lot with the 3rd.  

Learn a new language.
Listen to an educational podcast.
Develop a new skill, or hone an old one.
Learn to play the piano.
Learn carpentry.
Learn how to code. 
Buy an old motorcycle and rehab it.  

Boredom is easily remedied.  

Just make sure the ways you are addressing boredom are helping you grow.      

If there is one element essential to happiness in life, it might be growth.  

So long as we are growing, we can enjoy almost anything and endure almost anything. 
If we are not growing, it is difficult to enjoy anything.  

May we grow better together.  

With lots of love, 

Matt, Audrey, Ezra, and Sienna

Date Night!

Friends

Pickup trucks are for parties