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Matt and Audrey Pound


Kindergarten English Camp with our neighbor

Ezra was a hit with everyone

Audrey bringing the red light/green light intensity!

Greetings from Thailand!  

This post will be a bit disjointed, but life often is.  There is heaviness and there is joy running side by side, twisting together, and coming apart.  Thanks for walking with us along the way!

Chester Bennington, Linkin Park

A few weeks ago, the lead singer of my favorite band hung himself.  His name was Chester Bennington and the band is Linkin Park.  It is hard to overestimate the debt I owe them. 

 Music, like most art, is effective because it resonates with something in us.  

It can teach, but that is not its primary function.  

Resonance is the primary function.  

It stirs us, moves us, inspires us, and it gives expression and voice to something we feel and experience strongly inside ourselves.  Linkin Park gave voice to the anger and pain and hunger for redemption of many, many people.  And it was therapy.  It was a way of getting the anger and pain out.  It was a sense of community: you are not the only one who feels like this.  

I really did not enjoy being a teenager.  And I had a wonderful family, lots of great friends, and a lot of good times.  I cannot imagine how difficult those years would be without those things. Each of us is so complex and unique, no two journeys will be the same.   But virtually everyone has trouble coping with those crazy, awkward years we call adolescence.  

Linkin Park was to me what the Beatles might be so someone who grew up in the 60's. 

I know virtually every song by heart, and every time it comes on the radio, part of me is transported back---back to those hard years, back to those unstable emotions.  That is why it hit me hard to hear that Chester took his own life.  He helped a lot of people avoid just such an end.  What made this successful, talented young father of 6 take his own life?  

One of his last songs might offer some insight into his heart and mind.  The song is called Heavy.  You can listen on you tube here: (I provided the clean version)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJKJyKs53Js

One line in particular strikes me: 

"Why is everything so heavy?  
More than I can carry...I keep dragging around what's bringing me down, 
if I just let go I would be set free."

US Dept. of State training for workers combating human trafficking, very well done and informative

My former coworker Kelly came to run a marathon in China and visit Thailand!

We decided she needed to come back!

In light of these thoughts, I was asked to speak at a Mien Church retreat this weekend.  The Mien people are one of the hill tribes in Northern Thailand.  The pastor is a good friend of mine whom I greatly admire; he is a gentle, humble man who loves his people.  I was honored to be asked to share.  The topic seemed timely too: Rest in Jesus.

I thought about Jesus' words in Matthew 11:

"Are you tired? Worn out? Heavily burdened? Come to me. 
Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. 
I’ll show you how to take a real rest. 
Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. 
Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. 
I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. 
Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly."

Life can feel heavy.  It can feel like a crushing burden, a relentless, inescapable cycle.  
And maybe the most frustrating feeling of all, is when we see our own part in our misery, 
but we can't seem to 'let go and be set free.'

  As I talked with these young, tribal families I told them the about Chester (many already knew---rock music crosses borders).  It broke my heart that this man had not found the rest that he, in some way, helped me find.  His honesty about his own pain helped me cope with mine.  But he had not found the relief from the heaviness of life.  He had not found how to live freely and lightly---the unforced rhythms of grace.  

Teaching the Chicken Dance!
Tiida is student teaching and working incredibly hard--some well earned rest!

These beautiful, silly girls from Home of Faith are ready for school!

So in midst of my sadness at the loss of this artist, I tried to share the joy of being welcomed and loved by God.  

That is the invitation of Jesus to all who find life heavy: come and find rest.  

It is a Divine affirmation that life is hard, life is painful, life is broken.  

But it is also a Divine remedy; 
not to remove us from this hard, painful, broken world, 
but to free us to live freely in it.   

There is something incredibly comforting about someone as vast and grand as God, being concerned for the heaviness each one of us carries.  

Audrey and I are glad to be home in Chiang Mai.  It felt good to clean our little house and settle back in.  Our neighbors were all excited to see Ezra, who continues to charm everyone he meets.  

We are trying to get caught up with everything at Faithful Heart and enjoying reconnecting with all our friends and colleagues.  We are missing Dave and Shirley, but looking forward to their return soon.  

Ezra is1 year old on August 1st.  He is such a source of joy to Audrey and I every day.  It puts a beautiful reality to God being the Father of us all.  

What delight He takes in His children, how precious is each and every one!  

We can't tell you how much it encourages us to know that you are praying for us.  There is something overwhelming about seeing so many people and so many needs, and knowing we don't posses the resources to help them all.  It takes on a very real significance for us to lift empty, weak hands to God and ask for Him to come give these beautiful people rest.  To come and do what we cannot.  

Thank you for laboring with us by praying for us.

Audrey's sister took some family photos for us in Colorado!

Would you pray for these things specifically?

1.  Pray for wisdom to love and guide teenagers at Faithful Heart.  As our kids grow, so do the challenges of caring for them.

2.  Pray about the land we have been offered.  In our hearts, we sensed God speaking to us through a sermon we heard in the US:  "Put down roots, build homes, plant gardens, and pray for the city where God has called you."  This is our dream for this land.

We still need about $40,000.  Would you pray about Faithful Heart 'putting down roots' here in Chiang Mai?  

3.  Pray for our neighbors.  We loved helping a neighbor lady we met while walking by putting on an English camp for a school that could not afford to hire teachers. We are always looking for ways to creatively love and bless the community we are a part of.   

Ezra amped up to weld, mom says it is too early

Dragon fruit at Yay's house

Much Love to All, 

Matt, Audrey, & Ez

1:59 AM 1 comments


The Garden of the Gods

One Cute little hiker!

Another cute hiker---little Moe!


Greetings from Colorado!

My education has had many gaps.  There were tremendously important events which I was only vaguely aware of, or completely unaware of, which have shaped my life in dramatic ways.  Being in Colorado on the 4th of July after living the past 2 years in a foreign country, has given me new perspective and appreciation for my home soil.

My learning, much like the pattern of my life, often follows a pendulum-like path.  As children, we start as something of a blank slate, but that is a very short period.  For immediately the ideas and perspectives of others begin to shape and form our own.  We might say that we all come from somewhere, not just physically, but in how we view and interpret our world.  But as so often happens, when we first find a gap or inconsistency in what we first learned, we tend to swing to the opposite extreme.  (Just think about most college students--myself included).

California Wedding!

Ez is geared up for James and Anne's Wedding

Ez hanging with Uncle Bunky (sorry Chuck, I had to)

Hence my own thinking about my country started as something of a naive idealism, then transitioned to an equally, though different, naive cynicism.

But if the pendulum has time to keep swinging, it can come back to center; something of a more realistic, more true perspective.  Because I am a apprentice to Jesus, I advocate for Truth in all things because I believe that the truth sets us free.

It is a search which must never cease: to find and hold what is true, in all of life.

And it is not a task for the faint of heart.

I readily confess in many things, the truth may have become so mired, it can seem impossible to find. But the only way to find is to begin seeking.  And because I believe the truth is not merely a proposition, but a Person, I also believe if we seek honestly we shall find.

Grandma and Liesl watching attentively 

Aunt Bethany and Ez getting some snuggle time

Ez and Aunt Pam were quick buddies

America may or may not be the greatest nation on earth, but it is one of the greatest ideas.

GK Chesterton once pointed out that he would never allow anyone to tear down a system, however bad, until he was convinced the reformer understood what he wanted to destroy.

You cannot criticize what you do not understand.

Nor can you truly praise what you do not understand.

And I am convinced that much of the criticism and praise of America is, like much of my own, based more on ignorance or misunderstanding than on reality.  I do not have the time or wisdom to try to set all that straight, but I will try to share some of my changing perspective as an inside-outsider.

We love these incredible friends who have 'passed through the waters' with us and still love us

Dr. Sam, one of my good friends from high school came to visit Chiang Mai... he may be returning soon to help with a video project for Faithful Heart Foundation

Claire (or should I say "Annie"?)  loving on Ez.  We so love this family.


Observation about America #1:

Growing up in America is one of the greatest blessings anyone on earth could have.

If you doubt that, you need only ask someone from another country.  He or she may dislike many things about America, but they will endure a tremendous amount of discomfort and dislike for one simple, incredible thing: opportunity.

Opportunity for them and for their children to do and be something they desire.

I share this observation not to make those of us who were born here strut or puff out our chest, but to give us pause to be grateful.  There are millions of people who are brighter, more intelligent, and more hard working than I am; who suffer from hunger and poverty and will never have the opportunities in life that I take for granted.  Men and women who will never get to travel and see the world, or have the access to the treasures of learning in books that I have.

Those thoughts should do two things to us:

1.  It should humble us that we have been so incredibly fortunate based on no merit of our own.

2.  It places a burden of responsibility to make some return to those who are not so fortunate through no fault of their own.

The opportunity of America is not simply the opportunity to make a better life for yourself (though it is that) but the opportunity to make a better life period (for everyone).

That is perhaps the greatest secret to America's true greatness.

Ez loved the Carousel 
A quiet, Jesus-like man who was like another father to me growing up, loving on my son



An incredibly generous gift of climbing gear had Ezra and Dad really excited


Observation about America #2:

The built-in design for argument and disagreement is America's great strength (not weakness).

One of the great dangers I have observed (and experienced) recently in my own faith community (Christianity) is the growing desire for uniformity.

We want everyone to think the same way, speak the same way, hold the same creeds, worship in the same forms.  We tell ourselves this is important because these things are important to get right.  But of course when we ask who is right, everyone is quick to assume it is their own tradition (whatever that may be).

But the true danger is not in diversity, but a false unity.

When we use pressure and fear to coerce people into 'getting in line with the group' and when we drive out those who are different, we have weakened our community, not strengthened it.

America is only a larger community and the same truth applies: our diversity, our disagreements, and radically different perspectives are what make us strong.  Just visit a nation where criticizing the government is cause for imprisonment and see the difference.

I am concerned that many Americans have become so polarized in their views that they are coming to believe that if only we could 'get rid of all the people who disagree with my group,' everything would be much better.  But that kind of thinking is what leads to dictators, despots, and tyranny---the very thing I nation was formed to escape from.

Ez loved our hosts George & Peggy Metz's house!

Ezra and Grandma Sheri (Honey)

Ezra's new best friend, cousin Annie!

Observation about America #3:

Our own success can kill us.

There are many things I love about Thailand and there are many things I love about America.  There are many stages of development for a nation and Thailand is often categorized as a 'Developing Nation' (as opposed to a third-world nation, or developed nation).  In some strange ways, Thailand sometimes feels like how America must have been 50 years ago.

Whether you are an individual or a nation, success can be a blessing or a curse.

Life may become more prosperous but less happy.

Jesus's words about life being much more than what a man possesses are poignant here.

A nation may prosper to the benefit of the its people.  Better health care, access to affordable healthy food, better education, more programs to assist vulnerable populations, etc.

But there is also a point where prosperity becomes a curse instead of a blessing
(look at Hollywood stars).

The book of Proverbs in the Bible has a wise perspective on this:

"Give me enough food to live on,
    neither too much nor too little.
If I’m too full, I might get independent,
    saying, ‘God? Who needs him?’
If I’m poor, I might steal
    and dishonor the name of my God.”


The idea that made America great was not to create a place where the individual can thrive at the expense of the group, but where the whole group can benefit from the thriving of individuals.  

What if our greatest definition of success was one who helped others succeed?  

What if your life was not about what you achieved, but what you helped others achieve?

What if the blessings in your life were not only for you, but to be extended to your neighbors?

Love these sweet girls!

Uncle Matt's questionable ideas...

Ez rocking it!

Cave climbing!


As Audrey, Ezra, and I get ready to leave America and return to Thailand we are thankful for the people here who continue to model that kind of greatness.  There are so many people in the quiet corners of this country who have invested their lives in others, in so many different ways.  

As I think about my son, I want him to have the unique blessing I have been blessed with:

to be raised and loved by a whole 'village' of wonderful, diverse people.

I hope we can take some of the blessings of America when we return to Thailand.  And I hope we have succeeded in bringing some of the blessings of Thailand to America too.  

I am grateful we can say that we truly love both the countries we now call home.  May God bless America.  And may God bless Thailand.

So that they may be a blessing to others.  

Lots of Love,

Matt, Audrey, & Ezra

PS:  If you want to hear the message we shared at Berean you can click the link below:

https://vimeo.com/222731202

Reading time 

Pool Time!











1:32 PM 1 comments

Greetings from Thailand!

Ashley on the hog!
New (old) friends moving to Chiang Mai---Love them already!
One of our new little boys proudly writing his name

A few quick Updates:

1. My Dad has come through his procedure successfully but his recovery has been longer and more difficult than we expected.  Thank you for your kind words and prayers.

2.  We are relieved two of our girls are safely back home and would ask you to continue to pray for them.  Their young lives are full of changes and transitions like every adolescent, and a few extras most kids don't have to deal with.

3. We are so excited to have Ashley Nirmalnath in Chiang Mai!

4. I preached last Sunday at our international church!  It is a pretty special experience seeing Americans, Filipinos, Chinese, Korean, Italians, Scottish, British, Germans, and Singaporeans meeting together to learn how to be apprentices of Jesus in whatever walk of life they find themselves.

You can listen here:

https://soundcloud.com/user-793581057/matt-pound-april-30-devotion-to-jesus

The newest member of the Faithful Heart Family--meet Taxi! 
When Ashley's team leads our Thai small group in an African worship song



Games and fun!

Thoughts on life right now, right here:

One of the sobering side effects of presuming to tell other people how they might live better lives, is you cannot help but to take a good hard look at your own. 

One of the most important aspects of your life, is whether you intend to become better than you are now (or not).

I recently finished reading a book on what makes a meaningful, joyful life by a man who died over 100 years ago.  He said:


 there is only one person whom you ought to be in ruthless competition with your whole life:  yourself. 

Cell Group hearing stories from Ashley & her team

Relay races

Playing water in the hot season


Life is like an unjust track race.

We all start at completely different points, 
with completely different training, ability, and equipment.

That is why it is utter nonsense to look at the person or people next to you, to see how you are doing in your own growth.  It is progress that is essential, and progress can only be accurately determined by looking at where we each came from and how far we have come---not in relation to the person next to you, but the person you were before and the person you are now, and the person you will be tomorrow. 

(Otherwise, you might be a scoundrel surrounded by only slightly worse scoundrels, and therefore feel pretty good about yourself in-spite of yourself).

We need to lose our ambition: to be better than others.

And gain aspiration: to become the best version of ourselves we possibly can.


3 boys at Home of Light--Taxi (left) is fitting right in

Ashley jumping right in!

Laura splish splashing!

I think for most of my life I have got this wrong.  

When I said I wanted to be a good man, 
what I meant was I wanted to feel that I was better than most people. 

(A very different sort of desire)

This is usually the process:

1.     I hear or see something that inspires me to be a better person (good thing)

2.     I think about how I might go about accomplishing my goal and form a plan (also good)

3.     I begin to attempt my new resolutions (very good)

4.     I quickly find it incredibly hard and resent the extra effort I am making that others are not (not good)

5.     I start to feel proud of my efforts and set myself up to critique and criticize others who are not so enlightened (bad)

6.     Now my focus has shifted from being better, to convincing myself and others that I already am better. (very bad)


Taxi puttin' the moves on Matt

Our fun crew for the day! (Silly faces)

Marco, Polo!


What a difficult thing it is to be good!

Just think about it.  

The reason we love to talk about the faults of others and their mistakes 
is because it gives us a feeling of superiority.  

Like a coach overseeing the team on the field. 

The only problem is none of us is only a coach. 

We are all in the game of life
 and what counts is not our assessment of the performance of others, 
but our own performance. 

How much easier to be a critic, to pass off clever and even correct theories of how people ought to be or live; than to be and live yourself!  

 It may be this very reason why so many of us who are religious can so easily become arrogant with so little basis for being so.  Spending time thinking and exploring ideas of how we might become a better man or woman, is not the same as actually employing those ideas to change ourselves day after day after day. 

Ways we get it wrong: Q&A

Q:  Am I a better person because I go to church or study the Bible?

A:  No, that may give you opportunity to become better, but you, and you only, must make use of it.  Many people have used religion and even the Bible to justify doing great evil. 

Q:  Am I a better person if I care about social justice, and important political and moral issues?

A:  No.  It is only by acting on those concerns that anything tangible occurs.  And not just any action, but only the doing of good.  

Contrary to popular thinking, evil means never accomplish good ends. 

Q:  Am I a better person because I don’t do the same bad things other people do?

A:  No.  The absence of some particular evil in you 
does not guarantee the presence of good.  

In reality, we have probably all grossly underestimated the effect our own wrongness has hurt the people around us. 

So what is the answer?

If I knew the answer fully, I might be a much better man than I am.

Pring & Harmony are new friends
But in my first steps towards becoming such a man, I have a few suggestions.

1.     Shatter the false image you have of yourself.

If you are anything like me, and most the people I have met, you have an idea in your head of the kind of person you think you are.  

And it is probably completely absurd and ridiculous.  

Be brave and ask someone who is close to you to help you see yourself a little more accurately (probably a spouse or family member, or bold friend---certainly not someone who would be afraid to tell you straight). 

If you have done this, you are probably feeling depressed not that you have seen the not-so-nice person you really are.  That’s ok. 

2.     Remind yourself that God and others have seen you like this for a long time and they still love you.   

Whatever you do, don’t put that old mask back on. 

 Your courage may inspire and help others. 

3.     Practice saying I was wrong and I am sorry every chance you get. 

And if you are truly bold, ask how you might be able to right the wrongs you have done. 

4.     Find something concrete you can start doing right now that actually is good. 

Sponsor a child in need (hint, hint), be a foster parent, be a mentor, serve at a local homeless center, visit lonely people in a nursing home.  

Anything!  

But do something tangible to invest in the lives of others right now and schedule it not just once, but as an ongoing commitment. 

5.     Never forget how late you started and how far you have to go.

Whatever happens, don’t allow yourself any smugness. 

 Or you will be right back where you started (go back to step 1). 

 The only person you are competing against is you.  

 The only measure is Jesus---perfect love, justice, and goodness. 

Harmony bringing the beat!

Benjamin and Peter rocking out.  

It is a long, difficult, and delightful journey. 

It is the real journey of life, and the journey to joy. 

George MacDonald said God would have men and women be holy (good, pure, right) 

because He wants them to be happy; 

and He knows there is no other way to be completely, utterly, unchangeably happy 

than to become completely, utterly, unchangably, good. 


Here is a test of what you really believe.  



How much energy do you spend trying to be happy?



How much of that energy is spent trying to become a better person?



Do you really believe that the majority of unhappiness in your life
 is due to a lack of goodness in you?



In my life, I am often chasing something (if only I had this...)
 or some achievement (if only I can accomplish this goal...)
 or blaming someone else (if only they would stop doing this...)



But God is quietly whispering the truth: 



 All who seek happiness apart from goodness will end up missing both.  
But all who seek goodness will find both.  

But God is ready to help every person, no matter who they may be, who begins to take even the smallest step in that direction.  


And we can help each other along the way.  

Let’s walk together. 

In Love,


Matt, Audrey, and ‘fuzzy’ Ez



Amy in the lost lagoon

A boy and his Dad



1:53 AM 1 comments
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Matt, Audrey, Ezra & Sienna Pound
Faithful Heart Foundation
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